Shattered
by TwilightAngel08
Summary: After Breaking Dawn, Leah wants to overcome the old pain. It's hard though. How can you forget someone when you see them every day? You can't, and that's what Leah's about to find out. I'm no good at summaries. Leah POV. R&R. T though may be M later.
1. Chapter 1

Shattered

Chapter One-Invited

I walked through the streets, head down, in the pouring rain. My hood was up but it didn't give me much protection from the elements seeing as it was soaked through. Port Angeles was grayish with the rain. I hadn't seen the sun for about a week. Although, I supposed going out during the day might help, maybe. It was always gray out in this stupid place. I turned into an alleyway. It was empty, as desolate as I felt.

I had been a week since I had visited Emily. I went since I hadn't seen her for a while. It hurt to go over there, but since Sam was out, I went. We had a nice time at her house. I didn't even hurt. We just talked and gossiped. She mostly asked me about being a wolf. But then I had seen the stack of invitation replies. I picked one up and read it as her back was turned. It was an RSVP to her wedding, which was to be held in a week's time. Each word cut me like a knife. I had known they were engaged, but they were already getting _married_? Without telling me? I had turned around and stalked out while she was busy doing dishes after I threw the letter on the floor.

I was so mad. No, that didn't cover it. I was hurt. Sad. Jealous, for sure. If you took all the bad feelings in the world and stuck them in one place, then that would represent me. At that moment, the pain in my heart was too much to bear. I screamed and punched the wall. Bad idea. Crimson blood splattered the rust-colored bricks. It felt like I broke a knuckle. I didn't really care. It was already mending and the short-lived pain was enough to distract me from the constant ache in my chest. That is, until I turned and saw a figure standing at the end of the alleyway.

I knew what he was here for. I was one hundred percent sure who it was. But he couldn't take away my pain. It was funny to think that I thought I was almost over my feelings. Ha. I would never be free of these feelings. Irritation and raw anger welled up inside me as I stared back at the silhouette.

"Go away, Jake," I hissed, putting as much venom into my voice as possible. Jacob walked forward in the hazy light.

I had known Jacob forever. I was in his pack, his right-hand woman. But I did not want to talk to him right now. He obviously didn't care about my wants.

"Come on, Leah. What are you doing? Running away from your problems will not help solve them. Come back to La Push with me. Seth's worried about you," he told me.

"In this particular case, running away from my problem will solve it. In case you haven't noticed, my problem can't be solved. So, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just go on your merry old freakin' way."

"Leah," he began, stepping forward, his voice full of pity, "Leah, it'll be—"

"No," I whispered. "Don't you _dare_ try to reason with me, Jacob Black." My voice started to rise. "I'm _so tired_ of being pitied. I thought you, you of _all_ people, would understand how I feel! But you really don't give a damn, do you? You're off in your happy little freakin' world without a care." I was screaming now. "You don't even _know_ the pain I go through. When you're _so _close to getting that damn rock on your finger, that you lose sight of every other person in this world except that one who you would die for!" Suddenly I was whispering. "I knew they were engaged. They've been engaged for a long time. But I didn't know the wedding was so close. And how can they expect me to sit there and smile when I'm shattering into a trillion little pieces." I fell to my knees. "Jake, Emily wants me to be there," I whispered, looking up at him with wide, hollow eyes. "I can't do that. I just can't deal with this pain anymore. I can't watch them seal their lives forever…" My voice drifted away. Jake kneeled in front of me.

"So what're you going to do? Kill yourself? Leah, it's not the end of the world."

"But I…"

"Why don't you go away for awhile and look around. Maybe you'll—"

"I won't Imprint, Jake. I'm a genetic dead end remember? We had this conversation before."

"I know," he said, his face reddening. "I think that's been burned into my mind forever."

I rolled my eyes, trying to overcome the pain. I didn't succeed. "It's not like it's bad to talk about. I just told you I'm meno—"

He clapped his hands over his ears and started shouting, "La la la, not listening!" I smiled a tiny bit and sighed. My face felt like stone. Jake removed his hands and said, "So can we go back to La Push now or what?"

"I guess. But don't ask me to go to their house."

"Oh yeah. I should probably tell you about what I caught Seth thinking about the other day."

"How's it concern me?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

*~*~*

I ran, full speed, in my wolf form through the forest. _I'm going to kill him!_ I shrieked in my head. Jake ran behind me, struggling to keep up.

_Easy, Leah. I don't even think he did anything. I just thought you'd want to know,_ he told me. _I wasn't even supposed to tell you._

_I'd have found out sooner or later. There aren't any secrets in the pack. Seth!_ I shouted, gaining his attention.

_What?_ He asked this warily, sensing something amiss in my tone.

_Meet me in the meadow. You know, the one where we fought the leeches._

_Why?_

_Just go. Jacob, this really doesn't concern you. I suggest you leave. Now. _I heard his paws hit the ground behind me as I shot into the clearing like a rocket, almost colliding with Seth, who was sitting there with his ears back slightly.

_Actually it does, seeing as you two are in my pack. So I'd rather you did not rip him limb from limb,_ Jacob explained.

_Who? Rip who limb from limb?_ Seth asked, cocking his head.

I looked at Jake. _Did I forget to mention he was a preemie?_

Jake nodded._ And lemme guess: he was in a room full of bright lights and noise._

_Bingo._ I turned to Seth and asked sweetly,_ Seth, do you have a girlfriend?_

He took a step back. _What! N-no! I—_ But I could see the direction his thoughts were going. I saw a fair-skinned, blue-eyed blond holding his hand at school, kissing him on the beach, then behind the house. I saw he leading him into _my_ room. MY ROOM! I shrieked wordlessly and pounced on him, holding him down by the shoulders.

_No, Leah, we didn't do anything, I swear!_

_SETH!_ I screamed in my head._ WHAT DID YOU DO?_ I stood over him and snarled.

_Nothing, nothing, really! She was tired and—_

_Did you _sleep_ with her?!_

_I-no, I wouldn't. I didn't!_ He whimpered. I suddenly remembered that I was missing three shirts._ She just took a nap, that's all!_

_That's all, is it? That bit—brat stole my shirts!_ I caught myself before I could call her a "female dog" to put it mildly. That's kind of what I was. I'd really bring everyone down on me then.

_No, Leah, I didn't know!_

_Seth, so help me I'll—_ I stopped short. _I'll just let her have them. They were too small anyways._ Seth looked at me like I was crazy. I felt Jacob's eyes drill holes into my back. I backed off my brother and sat down, tongue hanging out and tail wagging.

_Leah?_

_I can't believe you thought I was serious! I was just kidding, Seth!_ He rolled onto his stomach and stood up.

_Really?_

_Duh. Jeez, take a joke. Really, I'm just kidding. I haven't had a good laugh for a long time. I just guessed that you had a girlfriend. Good guess._

_Jake,_ he said suspiciously, _you weren't involved in this?_

_Nah. Leah told me what she was doing and I couldn't resist seeing that. You better get going. We can take the patrol over from here,_ Jake told him.

_You sure?_

_Get going,_ I told him, nudging his side with my shoulder. He nodded, tongue lolling out, and ran towards La Push. _Keep that girl out of my room,_ I shouted after him.

_Got it._ In a few minutes he was gone. He had phased back. Jacob turned to me.

_What the heck was that about?_ We started running in opposite directions, taking up the patrol route.

_Nothing._

_Something,_ he insisted.

_I just figured I shouldn't punish him for doing the same thing that I'm doing._

_And that would be…?_

I sighed. _Looking for love._

_Ah._

_I think he wants to Imprint._

_Not Seth! No way!_

_I do. He sees how happy all of you are with your Imprints and how couldn't he want to? I've caught him thinking about it before. He had just gotten rejected by some stupid, snobby, fugly, prissy—_

_Too many adjectives, Leah._

_Ok, so he got rejected by a stupid girl. Happy? Anyways, he was thinking _'I wouldn't have to date if I had just Imprinted.' _And it makes sense. You know, some people have commitment problems. Some—cough, cough, me, cough, cough—have trouble asking someone on a date or whatever. You know,_ I mused,_ it took me almost three months to look Sam in the eye. And I didn't talk to him for another two. Things kinda fell into place after that._

_Leah, I'd really rather not hear about your personal life._

_It's not personal. The whole pack has heard it. So really, it's my public life._

_Whatever. Everything seems good here, so we can drop the patrol, if you want._

_That's fine._ I started running toward La Push. I planned on visiting the library on the edge of the res. Jacob caught the drift of my thoughts.

_Why are you going to the library?_ He asked me.

_Because I'm doing some research._

_On what?_ He prompted.

_None of your business. By the way, Nessie wants another book. She finished the other one last night._

_Damn. That girl finishes books like—_

_Like you eat food,_ I snickered. _She's a smart one._

_Thanks._

_I wasn't complimenting _you._ You're an idiot. Maybe some of her brains will rub off on you,_ I said as he ran up next to me. _Lord knows you could use them._

_Oh, come on! I'm not an idiot!_

_Only sometimes. Like when you jumped in front of me when we fought the leeches._

_I saved your—_

_No, no, don't get me wrong. I'm grateful. But you risked_ your_ life and, got _your_ bones crushed just for me. You didn't even like me then. Nobody really did. They wouldn't have missed me as much as they missed you. I don't have friends. I never have._

Jake held his head higher and looked me in the eye. _I'm your friend._

I was so astonished that my front legs got tangled and I fell on my face, skidding to a stop a few seconds later. _What now?_

_Well yeah. I mean, you're in my pack. You're my second in command, too, in case you forgot._ He pushed me up with his shoulder.

_Thanks._

_Any time._

_For everything, ya know? I know I really complicated things when I came into the pack. I didn't mean to. Really. I was just so confused and—_

_I know. I can't imagine what it would be like to be the only guy in a girl pack._

_I bet you can. It was hard, though. At first. Being in your pack is a bit better._

_Only a bit?_

_Get to work on something that will keep us from being nude when we phase back and I'll be _way_ happier._

_Yeah, like that'll ever happen._

_Like I said, being in an all boy or girl pack would be better. Seeing as that can't or won't happen, I'll have to make do. Anyhow, stay here while I phase back. _I shook my leg with the clothes in a bag.

_Will do._

I walked behind a big clump of bushes and trees and focused on pulling myself inward. I got dressed, not believing that Jacob had called me a friend. I always pictured us as…acquaintances, not friends. But it was true, I guess. I had always felt like the odd girl out. Jake and I were a lot closer than we used to be. And even Embry and Quil did not seem as annoying as they used to be. I really—

"You coming, or what?" Jacob called. I walked out of the forest and toward the tiny library.

"You don't have to stay, you know."

"I might as well get Nessie's book. Why are you here anyways?"

I sighed. "I just want to see if I can find anything about other shape shifters."

"But there's not."

"And you'd know how?"

"Okay, so it's highly improbable," he said. "Are you looking for Imprinting legends?"

"If I can find any."

"You already know the legend, though."

"Yes," I said, "But it obviously happens a lot more than we were led to believe. I just want to know if Imprinting happens to make stronger wolves or if it's just a chance thing."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I guess I'd like to know if I should start…I dunno, looking for a boyfriend. I mean, what's the point of waiting to Imprint if I won't." I sighed. "Listen, I'll be back in a while. You can just leave if you want." I kinda hoped he would. I didn't want him over my shoulder, looking at all my despair-filled attempts to find something I could use.

I sat down at a computer, wondering if anyone was like me. I doubted it. But I had to know. Was I a genetic defect? An accident? A freak?

Whatever answers I was searching for, I didn't find them at La Push's library. When I got up to leave, I noticed Jake slumped behind a huge, old looking book. Wait, _Jake_ was _reading_? That was impossible. I walked back over to him and peered over the ancient binding. I noticed two things: one, the book was upside down, and two, Jake was sleeping. I sighed and pulled the chair out from under his lazy butt. He fell flat on his back and yelped as I shook my head.

"Oops." I couldn't hide the immense satisfaction in my voice.

"What was that for?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"You were sleeping."

"Well duh. Thanks for telling me, Ms. 'I think I know more than everyone.'"

"Yep, that's me. I'm going home. Did you get Ness's book?"

"Yeah. I just have to check it out." He leapt up and walked over to the librarian's desk. My nose wrinkled. The librarian was a monumental hag, hated by all school kids who had to use this library. I didn't like her. She didn't yell at me, at least. I loved to read and took good care of books.

"So how was the dictionary?"

"Oh, fine. Better than this," he said, gesturing towards Gone with the Wind.

"This," the librarian squawked, "Is a _classic_!" She snatched the book from his hands and stroked the spine. Jake gave me a look that clearly said, _weirdo_. "Why do you want it if you don't like it?"

"It's for a friend." She huffed at his response and rang up the book. As we walked out, Jake said, "Jeez, what a bi—"

"Watch yourself!" I snapped. He smiled.

"Just kidding. Where are you going now?"

"Home. You?"

"I'll give the book to Nessie, then hang out there with her."

"Big surprise," I said sarcastically as I walked away through the rain.

"Leah," he called. I stopped and looked over my shoulder.

"What?"

"You know Emily's wedding is in a week, right?"

"And?"

"You know she wants you to be there. And that she's sorry you saw the RSVP's before she told you about it. She knows you were hurt."

"I know," I whispered.

"Just don't do anything stupid, alright?"

I was silent as I turned and walked away, towards my house. I felt Jake's eyes hitting my back like laser beams. My heart was heavy as my home came into view about fifteen minutes later. What was counted as stupid? Running away and hurting Emily? Never talking to her again? What if being stupid saved me from more hurt? Would it make it any less stupid?

I wasn't sure about anything. That is, I wasn't sure about anything except the fact that I had to get away from here for a while, away from Emily, away from Sam. I needed to be somewhere where I could think clearly. I just didn't know how soon I'd need to leave.

**A.N.-So tell me what you guys think. I'll only continue if I get good reviews, since there's no reason to write if no one's reading. I hope you like it. Oh, and I lost the game. Don't ask, cuz you don't wanna know.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Reoccuring

"Are you almost done?" Seth whined, pounding on the bathroom door. "You've been in there for ages!"

"Hmm, could it really have been that long?" I asked innocently as I toweled my hair dry. "It only seemed like a few minutes." I pulled my sweats on and opened the door. I had woken up early today, but I could already feel my exhaustion from tossing and turning all night.

"Finally!" he said exasperatedly. "Do you do that just to annoy me? I'll probably be late for school now!"

"What? You think I'd really do that just to annoy you? Although, that is a good idea. I just like my…, 'me' time."

"What other time is there? You're always doing stuff for yourself."

And just who was it that made your dinner last night while Mom was out with Charlie?" I paused. "Oh, that's right. It was _me_."

"That doesn't count," he insisted. "You only did that because you had to."

"It so counts," I said, walking toward my room. "Because I say so."

"Whatever," he grumbled, slamming the bathroom door.

I laughed and walked into my room. I knew today would be boring. It was cold, raining, and windy. Not typical August weather, but since when had Forks or La Push ever been normal? Vampires, werewolves, what was next, witches? I didn't think I could take anymore.

In a way, I loved being a werewolf. I was the only female shape shifter-slash-werewolf in existence as far as I knew. It gave me something to brag about, some reason to say, "Look at me! I'm _different_!" Though I didn't think different was always better. I mean, it would suck to be on my period all the time, but maybe I could've Imprinted then. And if—

The phone on my bedside table rang shrilly, making me jump. I checked the caller ID, which said one of the Blacks were calling, and said, "Hello?" I sprawled onto my bed and waited for someone to say something.

"Leah?"

Warmth shot through my veins, followed almost immediately by ice. It was funny how you thought you were past those reactions with some people, but when they surprised you like that, the feelings just came back. And the same thing goes for how the hope bubbles up inside you one second, then despair and pain pop it all like popping a balloon with a pin. Even more astonishing is how anyone can feel all these emotions in the same millisecond.

"Leah?" Sam repeated. My heart throbbed painfully.

"Yeah?" My answer sounded ruder than I'd meant it to be. _Bad Leah,_ I thought. _Those feelings are meant to be locked up. You're not supposed to let anyone else feel them._ I guess Sam already knew what I was feeling from before when I was in his pack.

He sighed. "I just wanted to know if you were okay." He waited for an answer, but I was silent. "So…are you?"

"I'm fine," I said in an emotionless voice.

_You're lying! I know you are. Tell the truth! _This was my conscience, I guess. I had heard its little voice before. But I never did figure out why it took on my Aunt Eleanor's voice. It sounded just like it had when I had denied eating desert before dinner.

"I just wanted to make sure."

"Oh." There was an awkward silence that killed any conversation attempts before they left my lips. I could tell that he could tell that I wasn't fine. I knew him well enough to know that he was trying to find the words to repair the ocean-wide rift that was slashed between us. But he was well aware, as was I, that there was nothing he could do or say that would make anything better. At least, nothing that was truthful or that he really meant.

"Ok…here's Emily, then."

"Leah?" Emily's voice sounded thicker than usual, more…I don't know, sorrowful. "I'm sorry, I really—"

"It's fine. Is there something you wanted? Because I'm kind of busy today." I couldn't keep the iciness from seeping into my voice. I didn't want to talk to her. Not now. And maybe I was being unjust, maybe I was being bitter. But my heart was crushed, and she had, in a way, done it. I couldn't help if I was a bit rude to her. I could tell my demeanor brought her up short.

"I…yeah. I just wanted to know if you would come to my wedding. And if you'd be my maid of honor. But only if you want to be, you know?"

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "I'll…have to get back to you."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Leah. I really am," she whispered.

"Don't be." I bit my lip. "As long as you're happy…as long as he's happy, don't be sorry. I'll find another…I can look…just take care of…Bye, Emily."

I hung the phone up and lay down on my back. _If they were happy._ What did happy even mean anymore? I thought I had moved on. I thought I had left my feelings in the past. I wondered if everyone felt like this after they had a major breakup. Did they always have feelings like this? How long did they last? Why was love so complicated? Did the hurt ever go away…?

I fell into a restless sleep, remembering different times when we were together...

_I walk out of the back room in La Push's only convenience store. I pass my manager and tell him goodbye and that I'm leaving for the day. He smiles and says goodbye. I push open the door and walk into the sunlight._

"_Say hey to Sam for me!" he calls to me before the door closes._

"_Will do," I say over my shoulder._

_It was one of those beautiful days in La Push. The sun was shining when it was, more often that not, behind a sea of clouds. The ocean sparkles, a pretty blue-green today, not the usual cold gray. Everyone seems happier today. Little kids run and play in the small yards in front of the tiny houses, hair bobbing in the slight breeze. The sight fills me with longing for a teeny baby to hold and comfort and love. One with my features and Sam's, too. That would be a beautiful baby._

_As I walk, I wonder if Sam's home yet. I hope so. I want to see him, maybe go swimming, if the water's not too cold, that is. We could always go on a walk along the beach, picking up shells and pretty stones. Or we could go anywhere. As long as I'm with him, I don't care where I am._

_I turn around a corner and our home comes into view. _Our home. _I smile and practically burst with joy. Everything makes me happy, now that I have Sam. I remember how long it took me to meet him eyes: one month. And it took me another few weeks to smile at him. Another month to ask him out. But after that, everything just fell into place. We clicked instantly. It was awesome, as if I had planned every part of it._

_I see that Sam's truck is in the driveway, though I'm still not sure if he's home or not. He could've run to the store as a wolf. It was funny the way he told me, even though I wasn't supposed to know. He has that much trust in me, I guess. I know I trust him with my life. I'd die to protect him._

_Our front door opens and he walks out to meet me. He smiles my favorite smile, the one that shows his white teeth. It's funny how my heart beats faster as he walks toward me, arms outstretched. I even find it hard to breathe right. He takes me into his arms, all the same, and pulls me close as if I had been away for a month rather than eight hours._

"_So, Lee-Lee," he says, squeezing me tightly, "Where do you want to go today?"_

"_I don't care. As long as I'm with you, I'm good."_

"_That sounds good to me," he murmurs against my hair. He leads me into the woods behind our house. This isn't strange to me, since he takes me on walks into the woods all the time. "I figured I'd take you to someplace nice," he says, "to a place I found not too long ago." I smile and he smiles back. "Stay here until I come to get you, okay?"_

"_Okay." I watch him walk into the forest and out of my line of sight. He doesn't come back. Well, not as himself anyways. The great black wolf I know and love trots over to me, rubs his face into my hand. I grin and throw my arms around his neck and feel the deep purr-like thrum resonating from his chest. But then he does something different. Sam lowers himself down onto the ground and wags his tail. I raise my eyebrows._

"_What? You want me to…" He looks at his back and then at me again. "Oh, Sam, I don't know…"_

_But that's all he lets me protest. He nudges me with his nose until I'm standing at his side. I climb on warily and settle into the hollow between his shoulder blades. He stands up and we take off into the forest, both of us laughing…_

_*~*~*_

_We're on the beach as the sun dips low in the sky, painting it orange and yellow. I feel Sam come up behind me and pull me onto his lap. He rests his chin on my head and I sigh contentedly. The waves create a lullaby as they wash in and out. All seems to be silent as the sky fades to black._

"_The sunset is always so pretty on the beach, you know?" I ask, looking up. "I think that they show that everything has an end, a close, just like everything has a beginning."_

"_I don't think everything has an end."_

"_How so?" I ask, curious._

"_For example, us. We won't ever have an end." I smile and he goes on, "I thought that this might be a quick relationship, but I think…no, I know that I love you." He looks down at me. "I've never been in more love with anyone in my life."_

"_Really?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper._

"_Really," he says, and suddenly his lips are on mine. It feels like a dam burst inside me, but instead of holding back water, it was holding back magma. Sam can't hold me tight enough, and I can't catch my breath fast enough. The kiss seems to last for a short time, but I know that he and I will always be together, that we will have a lot more time…_

_*~*~*_

_I walk into our home, feeling a ball of anxiety curl around my heart. What had Sam wanted to tell me? All I know is that Emily had called me from a hotel (which was weird because she had been staying at my place) and told me that Sam needed to tell me something. She was practically hysterical on the phone and had hung up before I could say anything other than the 'hello' that had started the conversation, if you could call it that._

_I enter the living room and find Sam lying, face down, on our couch. "Sam? Are you okay?" I ask worriedly. He sits up and I gasp. His face is contorted with sorrow and anger, eyes dead and flat looking. "What's wrong?" I cry, throwing my arms around his neck. "Are you okay?"_

"_Leah, I…I Imprinted."_

_I don't know what he's talking about, but I smile a tiny bit. I expected something along the lines of a dead friend or cancer. Imprinting wasn't that bad…was it? "What's that?"_

"_Leah, I've found my soul mate. Remember I told you how werewolves Imprint? It's one of our old legends, but it's true, too."_

_Now I remember what he's talking about. My stomach seems to drop through the floor and ice flows through my veins. I look down; dark tear spots stain my lap. "You…you've Imprinted?" I ask, my voice a whisper._

"_Yes." His voice is full of agony. But my heart is breaking inside, so I find it hard to hear him._

"_But, can't you resist it?" I sob. "We were supposed to be together forever! You said it yourself, that we won't ever have an end!"_

"_No."_

"_Who?" I demand, standing up, pulling myself out of his arms. I stare at him, tears flowing over my cheeks and falling at my feet. My shattered heart throbs painfully._

_He is silent for a second, and then looks up into my eyes with his black ones. "Emily."_

"No!" I scream, sitting up on my bed. I felt cold sweat trickling down my face as breath rasped in and out of my lungs at an atypical rhythm. My heart hammers in my chest and I feel sick.

I hadn't had that dream for ages…not for a long time. There was no reason it should be popping up now, when I though I was finally getting over him. I had been fighting every feeling that had popped up, forced the nightmares back in the corners of my mind and locked them there, so that they could never resurface.

But they had. I still felt them, the ghosts of the images there beneath my lids. How could I have let myself get this way? How did I let these dreams happen again? How did I let these feelings reoccur?

I was angry with myself for letting these emotions push their way back into my life. And I knew I had to get over Sam. I didn't—shouldn't—love him any more. Why was it so hard to let him go? I sighed and reached for the phone. Maybe the first step to getting over him was being Emily's maid-of-honor. Even if that meant ripping open the old world of hurt and closing it up the proper way.

**A.N.—So I hope you guys like it! Sorry it took me so long…I could make up a hundred excuses, but that would be lame, so *takes a deep breath* I guess I was being kinda lazy about it. O.o Oh well! Now that that's over with please review! It really motivates me to write more…and faster! And anyways, it only takes a sec. I'll stop babbling now so you can review. ^-^**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Acceptance and a Heart-to-Heart

I sat on my bed, staring at my phone. It would kill me to press the 'Talk' button. I knew I had to do it. That fact still didn't make it any easier to press the stupid thing. I felt like a cartoon character with the angel and devil sitting on my shoulders. I kept trying to put the phone down, but then the little angel would rebuke me. The voices went something like this.

_You don't have to call Emily. She's just being courteous anyways. She really doesn't want you as her bridesmaid, let alone maid of honor!_

The angel would say, _Nonsense! You and Emily had been friends since you were babies and she was always sincere when she talked to you._

_But,_ the devil would retort, _who was it that stole Sam? Emily! Who got the rock on her finger? Emily! She took everything from you, so why should you give anything to her?_

That made the angel say, _You are trying to get over Sam now. It's time you found a new boyfriend._

And then my Aunt Eleanor would cut in, _But for heaven's sake, don't have sex before you're married!_

I pressed talk and waited as it rang. _Please don't be there, _I thought. _Please don't pick up._

"Hello?"

My heart sank as soon as I had heard Emily breathe on the other end of the line. So much for avoiding this for, I don't know, a century or so.

I ran my hand through my hair and said, "Hey, Em, it's Leah."

"Oh." She sounded taken aback. "So what's up?"

I gritted my teeth. "I was…just calling to say that…I would be your maid of honor…if you still want me to, that is." I held my breath, furtively hoping she'd just say no.

"Oh, Leah, would you really? Thank you so much! You don't know how much this means to me!"

"Yeah," I practically groaned, "no problem."

Emily didn't seem deterred by my lack of enthusiasm. "Oh, so we'll have to go dress shopping this weekend! My theme is dark red, for love, you know? I bet that will look so pretty with your hair and it'll be great! I'm so happy you decided to do this!"

"Yeah…I know." I had been about to say 'me too' but that would be a straight out lie. Hell, the only reason I was doing this was because it would make her happy and, more importantly, take me one step closer to forgetting Sam. "Listen, I know you're really busy and all, so I can let you go now if you want."

"No, no, no, that's really ok, Leah. I've missed you. We used to be BFF's and now…"

"Listen, it's okay. Everything that happened, I mean. I don't—at least I try not to—blame you. It's not your fault. I know that. It was just a wolf thing. And—"

"Leah? What's it like to be a wolf? What's it _really_ like?" I heard the curiosity burning in her voice, though above that was longing.

"It's…phenomenal," I said truthfully.

"I figured. I always wanted—"

"You didn't let me finish. It's phenomenal, but it has it's drawbacks."

"Like what?"

"Sam didn't tell you?" I asked incredulously.

"Nope. So tell me, what drawbacks are there to being a huge, powerful wolf?"

"You can't have kids. Or, I guess you can, if you're on your period when you phase. I wasn't, so I'm menopausal until I give up this wolf thing."

"No kids at all?"

"Not until you give up being a wolf and start your period again, to my understanding. There's also no privacy. You have a crush on someone and everyone in your pack knows it. Every single insecurity and fear and embarrassment you have is out there for the pack to see. And you _have_ to obey the alpha, if they use the alpha's command. When we were in the clearing before trying to decide if we should or shouldn't kill Bella when she was pregnant, Jacob didn't want to. He was trying to think around it. Seth was too. Sam gave them the command that made their legs give out. It's kind of like a weight on your back that gets bigger and bigger until you fall underneath it."

"Is that all?"

"All? Don't get me started. But…it's really hard being the only female wolf. I feel like…I don't know, like I'm genetically deficient or something. Like I have some flaw. I really put the guys through hell when I was wondering what was wrong with me. I thought I was pregnant," I mused. I was finding it easy to open up to Emily like I had whenever I had problems. We had been close. Maybe we still could be.

"But did you sleep with anyone then to make you think that?"

"Well, no one since…" My voice trailed off and heat painted my cheeks.

"It's in the past," Emily said a little too cheerfully. There was a bit of an awkward silence

"Yeah, but there are other things that make being a wolf suck."

"Like?" she prompted.

I think we talked for about an hour, going back and forth about different things. It was easy to reconnect with her, even after all this time. At the end of the conversation, she told me that we'd go dress shopping on Wednesday of the following week. I consented and we hung up, each of us feeling a lot lighter, I think.

I sighed and fell backward onto my bed. Dress shopping. Ugh. I didn't mind shopping; it was actually fun, depending on what I was shopping for, but how long would it take Emily to find the perfect dress? Not all day, I hoped. Maybe she already had one in mind. I was actually surprised she hadn't picked out anything yet. The wedding was only about two weeks away.

Fifteen minutes later, I was running, wolf-form, through the woods towards the Cullens' house. Yes, the Cullens. I didn't like going there for a more than a few reasons. First, it stank so bad that it felt like someone had shoved manure down my nose. Their smell was just sweeter. And then there was the fact that they were my supposed mortal enemies. That always made me edgy. They were also too nice. How could you dislike someone who offered you 24/7 cooking and the clothes off of their back? It was impossible; to my intense bewilderment, I discovered I liked most of them.

How was that possible? Well, Carlisle had healed Jake. He was so gentle that he seemed human. And Esme was very mother-like. She seemed like the type of person…or vampire, I guess…that would give you anything you needed, even if it came at a great personal sacrifice to her. Bella was sweet once you got to know her. She was still shy. I couldn't stay mad at her after she gave birth to Nessie because Jacob was _so_ happy. And what wasn't there to love about Nessie? Edward seemed ok, as did Jasper, though he still seemed a bit wild to me. Rosalie was so shallow that if she were a lake, I could walk through without getting the tops of my feet wet. Alice was sweet and…I don't know, kind of hyper and Emmet was…just wow. Completely crazy. I was a bit friendlier towards them, I think. Plus, Jacob had banned me from being mean to them. So that was out.

I phased in the woods and walked into the clearing where the Cullens' house was located. Before I could even knock on the door, Alice swung it open.

"Hi Leah. What's up?"

I wrinkled my nose at the smell that was pouring out of the doorframe. It smelled like…every sweet scent in the world piled into one room. It was sweet, but sickly sweet. It burned my nose and the back of my throat.

"Uh, hi Alice. Is Bella here?"

"Yep." She looked over her shoulder. "She's in the kitchen, I think." Alice moved aside to let me in and I walked into the living room. After saying a quick hello to everyone in the room, I walked into the kitchen. Bella was there with Jacob, Nessie, and Edward.

"Hey Leah," she greeted me as she leaned back against the counter.

"What are you doing here?" Jake asked, pausing as he lifted Nessie to his shoulders.

"She wanted to talk to Bella," Edward explained.

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. _That's annoying,_ I thought.

"So I'm told," he chuckled.

"What did you want to talk to her about?" Jake asked.

"Like it's any of your business."

"Whatever. I'll hear about it later."

"Oh, shut up, will you?"

"Leah, if you want, we can talk in Edward's old room," Bella told me.

"Uh…" I hesitated. I hated being in a house where everybody could hear me talk, whether I was standing five inches from him or her or five hundred yards. "Could we just take a walk instead?"

"Of course." She started walking towards the door. I followed her out and into the forest.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked as I pulled up even with her.

"It's just that…" I played with my shirt. "You're probably the only one who knows a little of what I'm going through…"

"That's probably true."

"I just wanted to know how you…got over Edward when he left you." The last part of my sentence came out in a rush. I felt my cheeks heat up. "I know it's kind of personal, but…"

"No, that's fine. But I think you should know…I never did get over him." She looked up at me.

"You didn't?" I whispered. My voice was full of despair.

"No, I didn't." She paused. "I think you can get over Sam, though."

"I don't think so."

"You might be able to. I was convinced that Edward loved me, even though he had left me. It was hard. We had said 'I love you' to each other so many times and yet he left me. I couldn't believe that he didn't mean it."

"But Sam did love—," I began.

"Maybe he did, at one point. But he doesn't now. You know that any chance of a relationship between you two is completely gone.

"It was easier for me, in a way. I had Jacob. We were really close and when Edward was gone, it was like Jake was there to catch me. And I remember being so confused. Would Edward want me to be happy? To be with Jacob? But I didn't want to forget him. I think you want to forget your relationship with Sam. I didn't want to forget mine with Edward."

"How did you get past Edward though? How were you able to make it through each day?" I asked.

"I barely was. I guess I tried to make it through each hour separately. When Edward came back, it was like the giant hole between us had been mended; like there never was a hole there before. I took him back with open arms. If Sam offered to come back to you, wouldn't you drop everything and let him come back, regardless of the hurt he had caused you?"

"Yes," I said, positive of my answer.

"That's what it was like for me. I mean, everybody looked down on my decision to take Edward back. But it'd be the same thing for you. Too bad you couldn't un-Imprint, huh?"

"Yeah, I know. Do you think that there's any hope for me?"

"Yes, I do. You need to keep your distance from Sam—."

"That's just great. I agreed to be Emily's maid-of-honor just today."

"Well that's okay. Maybe seeing them tie the knot will help you to distance yourself. And I also think you should start dating again, if you aren't already. You know, fall in love all over again."

"Maybe." I noticed that we were almost back to the house. We must have walked in a big circle.

"Just try it out, ok?"

"Ok."

We walked inside the house and Edward said, "So, Love, how is it to play Dr. Phil?"

"Not that bad, Mr. Know-it-all. I'm sure you studied psychology sometime during your many college experiences?" Bella asked.

"Twice, actually."

"Listen, I've got to go think this over. Thanks for your help, Bella." I backed out toward the door.

"No problem, Leah."

Once I was in the forest again, my head was clear enough to think. Bella really hadn't helped me at all. She had just affirmed what I had been thinking all along. But, I guess I was in denial. I didn't want to deal with this problem, not yet. I'd put it off for a while, maybe until after Emily's wedding, when I could bear to think about it.

**A.N.- So I hope you guys like it so far. I don't know how often I'll be able to update in the next week or so because finals are coming up and I really need to study. O.o But I will update again as soon as I can. Review please, or I won't have enough motivation to continue. Plus, it's going to get better! Thanks to all my reviewers and people who put me on their alert list! I better get going, and you better review! (-;**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Shopping with Emily

Saturday dawned cool and gray and rainy. Murky light filtered through my windows and I snuggled deeper under the covers. It was too early to get up yet. From the noise that flowed under my door, Seth obviously didn't feel the same way. Stupid little ball of sunshine. Did he have to stomp around like a giant? I mean, really! Some people were trying to sleep!

"Mom," he yelled as I cringed into my mattress. "Do you know where I put my red shirt?" I gritted my teeth.

"It's in the laundry room!" I heard her call.

"Thanks!" Seth yelled back. I snapped.

"Shut _UP_!" I shouted, snatching something from the floor and throwing it as hard as I could at my closed door.

"Oops…Sorry, Leah."

I ignored him and pulled the covers over my head. Today was not a good day. I had to go shopping with Emily around twelve. I would have to try on ten million dresses until she found 'the perfect one.' And then, I'd probably end up shredding said dress at her wedding when I was so emotional that I would shape shift into a wolf the size of a really big pony or small horse. And if that didn't top it off, I'd probably end up stepping on people or ripping their faces off when they started screaming. Of course, I wouldn't be able to repress this feeling since I, as all of us wolves are when we have strong feelings (particularly anger), would be somewhat…er, mostly uncontrollable. This was going to suck.

I drifted into a half-sleep and let my mind wander over different subjects. Here in this partially unconscious state it didn't hurt so bad to look over those 'Sam problems,' as I called them. I felt the familiar heartache that I usually felt as I thought of Sam, but it was about one-tenth the normal pain. First would come the picture of Sam's face as I remembered it from months ago:

Sam had flawless, sun-browned-looking skin. His black hair, soft as silk, was kept short, falling _just_ over his forehead. I remembered the feelings of my hands in his hair as we kissed so many months ago. His dark eyes, reflective in the thick, humid nights as we'd laid in bed together, just talking about our future, were always partially obscured by his long, dark lashes. He had gleaming white teeth that would always show when he was happy, _truly_ happy. He would make me glow when his lips just curved up at the corners. Back then I had thought that I was the only person who could make him so happy. He had a loser dad and no mother, but I was there for him, always.

After that I would see random flashes of the good times we had had together: I'd see me asking him out, very shy as I stumbled over my words; our second date together, when I wasn't nervous like on our first date and could talk and laugh with him; our first kiss on First Beach as the waves crashed before us and the unusually clear sky showed thousands of glittering stars, a billion miles away; the sunny day in the park when we had a picnic and he pushed me on the swing; the day he confided in me, only me, that he was a werewolf as our forefathers had been; making love with him in his house, trusting him completely with my body; and finally, the day he had asked me to move in. These were the brightest memories, shining like bright stars in a sea of dimmer ones.

Finally, the bad memories came: the night he didn't call when he said he would; our first fight which had been practically a screaming match; his anger when he had seen another La Push boy try to hold my hand; the indifference he felt about when we'd get married in the future; the pain of his doubt on whether I should move in or not; my hurt because of that; and then, when he explained to me how he had Imprinted.

I woke up fully and stared at the smooth white ceiling of my bedroom. My chest hurt…it was like somebody had just swung a sledgehammer directly at my heart. I sat up and glanced at the red numbers of my alarm clock and groaned. It said 9:15. Time to go shopping.

I dressed in a pair of holey-jeans and a blue t-shirt with a silver wolf howling at a gold moon. It was one of my favorites. I slipped on a pair of flip-flops and searched for my cell phone.

"Where…?" I rooted through the clothing piled on my floor and sighed. "Mom! Have you seen my phone?" I shouted, tossing a bra at the empty laundry basket by my door.

"It was on the bedside table when I picked up your laundry!" she yelled. I glanced at my white wicker nightstand. It wasn't there.

"Then I guess I'll just leave without it!" I grumbled moodily. I stalked towards my door and froze. "DAMN IT!" I shrieked, diving at the cracked and mangled piece of plastic in front of my door. So that was what I threw. I flipped the phone open and tapped the screen. "Please, please work," I pleaded. It stayed resolutely black, probably due to the deep crack running through its center. My eyes stung in frustration. I didn't really want to put any more money towards another phone.

"Leah? What's wrong?" Mom called from the kitchen.

"Nothing," I lied, tossing the irreparable phone into the garbage. I slammed my door and, after grabbing my purse and saying bye to my mom, ran out to the woods. Emily had insisted on picking me up, but I had turned her down, saying I'd rather run. Which was a lie. But I didn't want to spend such a long stretch of time in the car with her and her other bridesmaids. That would be torture…and very, very awkward. Plus, it was faster to run. It would take me half the time running as it would take in the car because they were bound to hit traffic or accidents or _something_ to slow them down.

I ran in silence after shoving my clothes into my purse and carrying it in my mouth. Either no one was up yet or just wasn't a wolf. I knew Jacob was probably sleeping. He stayed up late a lot, even after Ness went to bed. I once heard from Seth that he watched her sleep. _Creeper_, I thought. Really though, I was envious. He practically had everything tied up with her. When I went to get Jacob once, I heard Bella telling Edward that Nessie thought of him with a _possessive _tone. Like he was already hers! But, really, he was, wasn't he? Jacob would give everything to that kid if she asked for it. Although, she wasn't like that. But still.

When I reached Port Angeles, it was just starting to rain. I sighed, relieved I hadn't gotten poured on, and phased. As soon as I was fully clothed, I ran out of the woods and across the street. I was cold, so I ducked into a little coffee shop known as Café Cappuccino. I still had a few minutes before Emily would get here.

Coffee in hand, I made my way towards the formal wear shop that was the only place to buy formal clothes anywhere near Forks.

To my surprise, Emily and her four other bridesmaids were standing right inside the lobby. They were laughing and smiling, and, if one of them, I think her name is Serena, hadn't seen me, I might have walked outside to, you know, throw up. It was just that sickening.

"Leah!" Emily squealed, genuinely happy. She threw her arms around me and held me back at arms length. "I can't tell you how much this means to me. Really," she said, eyes lit up.

"Yeah…," My voice faltered and faded. I was about to say 'no biggie' or something, but it really was. We stood there for a second. It was hard to even remember the easy way we talked the other week.

"So, should we get started?" one of the others asked.

"Of course," Emily said and she led us back through the aisles. As it turned out, she had already picked out some dresses. By some, I mean, like, fifty, of course. They weren't even all red, the theme she was supposed to be going with! There was red, dark red, blue, yellow…just about every color in and out of the rainbow.

The girls chatted as they tried on dresses. I could practically _feel_ a huge, invisible wall separating us. Of course, Emily tried to bring me into the conversation, but I didn't supply much at all. And really, what was there for me to supply? All they talked about was Sam, boys, boys, and more boys. And they didn't know about the wolf thing, so anytime I said anything about Jake, they gave me a weird look. Except Emily. I guess that's what I get for following him around all the time. He's my alpha, though. What am I supposed to do?

Finally, Emily picked out a blood red dress with an ivory sash. The dress had thin straps, but we were going to get mine altered so it would be strapless, therefore making me stand out as the maid-of-honor. Secretly, I hated this decision because it meant that, well…if I was crying my eyes out or ripping up my bouquet, or, you know, accidentally coming apart at the seams and bursting into a horse-sized wolf, more people were likely to notice.

I decided to split as soon as I had my dress ready to be altered. Emily might have been a little wounded by my decision, but if I heard another word about Sam then I was going to have a panic attack. And so phased out and ran like a chicken with its head cut off.

By the time I reached the Canadian border, which was _way_ too soon for me, Jake was in my head.

_Are you leaving? _He asked me, dare I say it, concerned.

_Just running._

_As in, running away, or running for fun?_

_It'd be closer to the fun option, although it's definitely _not_ for fun._

_I see_. _Want some company?_

_Not particularly. I'm coming back anyways._

_I'm glad you're coming home and not completely splitting on me,_ Jake thought sincerely.

_I'm not coming home…just…back._

_La Push isn't your home anymore._ The way Jake thought it, it was a statement, not a question.

_Not really…_, then I unintentionally thought, _not for long._

_Everything will be alright, Leah. Somehow, things will work out._

_Everyone has said that to me for the past…oh, I don't even _know_ how long it's been. And yet, everything is almost exactly the same as it was and none of my problems are solved._

Jake phased out then, sensing that I needed to be alone. And I did. But all that was swirling through my head was just how lost and lonely I had become, and that, maybe, nothing would ever be right again.

**AN- Okay…so I don't really have an excuse for having stopped writing for so long…but I'm back and recommitted! Stick with me. I plan to have another chapter up in a day or two. FYI, my friend, KNL6002, and me are going to start a publishing company sometime in the future! We've started trying to get things together now. Still, better finish high school and college first. (BTW PLEASE don't email me your stories, no matter how great you might think they are. We are NO WHERE NEAR that stage yet. Just thought I'd throw that out there before my inbox gets flooded) Thanks.**

**-As always, TwilighAngel08**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Wedding Crasher…Sort Of

Time passed way too quickly for comfort. I mean, two weeks zipped by like nothing. I guess it happens that when you're dreading something, it springs up on you really quick. Like Bella and Edward's wedding for Jake. And Sam and Emily's for me.

My stomach hurt just thinking about it. Back when I had just joined the pack, it was really weird. I didn't hang out with the guys. They were my brothers…but I was more like a step-sister than anything. Plus, they were always at Sam and Emily's place. Of course I made it hard on them. I didn't mean to, but what _can_ you think when you're the only female werewolf in a pack of guys? It's not very easy to overlook all the problems. And then there was the whole 'naked-phasing' thing. There were more than a few occasions when I found the guys thinking about me phasing. It could be a self-esteem booster, for sure, but, then again, since they were like my brothers…you get the picture. Major ew.

So anyways, here I was, sitting inside Emily's house, as my mom did my hair. I didn't really get why we couldn't have stayed at _our_ house. She could have done it there. But she insisted on our coming here. Whatever. Why not make me suffer as much as possible, then? Right? I mean, it wasn't like I'd be around much longer. I'd probably split right after the wedding…if I could even make it that long.

My mom knew this. She looked at me a lot these days, with sad eyes. I think she could sense my pain, even though I did my best not to let it show. It showed in a lot of things I did, however. My body language, my expressions, everything. So the whole 'inconspicuous-in-pain' thing didn't really work out.

Suddenly, Mom tapped my shoulder. "Leah, you're done."

I looked in the mirror, since I hadn't really been paying attention to what she had been doing with my hair. She could've been giving me the whole "Cindy Lou Who" hairstyle and I wouldn't have noticed.

It actually looked really good. In the front, my hair was in a few tiny braids and then it was pulled back. In the back, it was in a kind of messy (but planned to be that way) bun. My bangs were straight like normal.

"Thanks, Mom," I said, smiling weakly.

She smiled back. "Go get your dress on, okay? We'll be heading to First Beach when you're ready."

"Right now?" I said, taken aback. I could feel my face fall.

"Yes, Honey. Everyone else is slipping into their dresses."

"Okay." I swallowed convulsively and went to change.

As I slipped into the satiny material, I couldn't help but feel my stomach plummet. I realized that, although I had thought I was past any hope for Sam to come back for me (I mean, after all, he _had_ Imprinted), I found myself despairing. I guess I had effectively hid it from myself, the small seed of hope buried deep within me. The seed died, though, as I zipped up my dress. Sam was the water that it had waited for; that water wasn't coming. Ever. I could feel my legs shaking. Where had all this come from? I thought I had accepted my fate to be apart from Sam. But I guess not. I felt like puking.

"Oh, Leah, you look beautiful," Mom said, hugging me when I finally came out of the bathroom.

"Thanks," I said weakly. She squeezed my hand.

"Hang in there. Okay?"

"I can try," I said, stringing all the words into one. I couldn't breathe.

The feeling only increased as my mom took me and the other bridesmaids to the beach in her beat up old car. We got out, me in a complete dazed, dream-like state.

We met up with the groomsmen in a white canopy near the entrance to the beach. Emily found me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much," she whispered into my ear. "This means so much to me."

I just nodded and tried not to throw up on her. I was here to help make this her big day, not ruin it. Probably would though. She let me go and went to get in line behind all the bridesmaids and groomsmen, who were now pairing up. Emily, for some strange reason, had wanted the groomsmen to escort the bridesmaids in.

"Are you okay?"

I jumped at the sound of Jake's voice, almost wetting myself. He handed me a bouquet of roses and lilies.

"Leah, you can do this."

"I can't," I whispered, shaking.

"Yes, you can. I'll be right there."

"Don't let me rip her face up anymore than it is, okay?"

"That's not gonna happen. Listen to me. You'll be totally _fine_."

"That's a load of crap."

He started to reply, but the nearby violins drowned out his words as they started the wedding march. I gasped for air.

"Ready?" Jake asked, putting his arm through mine.

"What do you think?" I said quickly, right before someone gave me and Jake a little push…which meant, get the ball rolling.

I straightened up, tried to smile, probably failed miserably, and took a step onto the sand. Jake's arm through mine was the only thing keeping me from curling into a ball and sobbing.

I looked up, saw Sam standing framed by the tossing ocean, and my breath caught in my throat. Was he looking at me? It looked like it. For a brief moment, I imagined _I_ was the one getting married.

My red dress billowed out around me and faded to white. Seth stood next to me, escorting me up the aisle in our father's place. My family, friends, even the leeches that were so much a part of my life were looking at me, smiling. Sam was smiling, too. The clouds parted and the sun came down, highlighted the brilliant pebbles on the beach, made the ocean turn blue. The leeches didn't sparkle; they were carefully place in the shade of the canopy. Everything was perfect.

Then, Jake was letting go of my arm and my fantasy crumbled. The sun faded, making the pebbles, the water, dull again. I moved to my place as maid of honor, but Sam's eyes didn't follow me; they were locked on Emily, behind the other bridesmaids and groomsmen the whole time. I looked down and my white wedding dress was whisked away with the wind, leaving the blood red bridesmaid gown. I swallowed through a tear-coated throat, holding my jaw rigid. Today was not my day. It was Emily's.

The rest of the bridesmaids took their place behind me as they split from the groomsmen. Emily walked up the aisle alone, shining despite the lack of sunlight. Sam's face broke into a wider smile, a tender one. The one he used to save for me and only me. Now it was hers.

Emily stood next to Sam, gently handed me her bouquet. At that moment, when she was standing in _my spot_, by _my soul mate_, I couldn't have hated her more. My anger boiled up inside me, making everything take on a red tint. I could feel my arms shaking. I let the feeling build beneath my skin, almost savoring it. She was where _I_ should be. I looked at her, feeling the anger grow and swell until it was as big as it would get.

But then I saw Sam's face, and my rage seemed to drain away, leaving pain and sorrow in its place. I couldn't kill her. He loved her. Not me. And taking off Emily's head would do nothing to change that. Jake caught my eye, shaking his head frantically.

_Don't do it_, he mouthed.

I closed my eyes for a long moment. _I won't,_ I mouthed back.

I was swept along with the ceremony, in a kind of numb shock. I had almost killed her. I was _so_ close. I knew it was something I would've regretted for the rest of my life. And I almost did it anyways.

Then the minister's voice caught my attention. "Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

That's when I lost it. I ran while I still could, while no one would be paying attention to the maid of honor. I could feel the heat starting to wash over my skin, beneath it, changing me. I jumped just as I hit the woods, tearing my dress into a thousand little shreds, silver fur exploding out around me. The dress slid off my fur and to the ground, making it look like I was bleeding. What a metaphor.

I looked back, just one quick glance, to see if anyone had seen me. Jacob was standing there, looking sorrowful. _Go,_ he mouthed, nodding me to the forest.

The leeches were all standing, looking at me sadly. I saw Bella holding Nessie. She waved once, as did Ness.

Mom and Seth were watching me, too. They weren't angry, only concerned and sad. I saw a tear roll down Mom's cheek.

And then I was gone.

I ran like I had no limits, like I really was a wolf, like I had nothing to lose.

Because, really, my life was meaningless now.

My breath came in short gasps as I pushed myself harder than I ever had before. I was the fastest wolf out of everyone. Even if Jake changed his mind and wanted me to stay, there was no way he could catch me. And he said he'd never impose the alpha's command on me. I was free from everything except the pain that made my chest ache.

I crossed the Canadian border in record time. And then I kept going. If I ran faster, harder, I told myself, panting, maybe I could outdistance this pain. Sounded impossible, but then again, no one had ever run as fast as me. I would run until the pain died or I did.

**So another chapter! This one is kinda short, I suppose. I wanna make them longer eventually. Review and let me know whatcha think!**

**-TwilightAngel08**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Lost and Forsaken

I made the Canadian border in what had to be record time. The thing I suddenly loved about Canada was this: vast isolation. There were barely any cities or towns or highways that I absolutely _had_ to cross over. There was always a way around. And, you know, if I had to run across a highway or two, narrowly avoid getting hit by a semi, then no big deal. I kind of wondered if being dead would feel better than this pain.

_Death is easy. Life is hard._

The quote echoed through my head. I forgot who had made it up, but I really didn't care. Life is hard. And I am no quitter. After what seemed like forever, I had to stop. My breath came in short little puffs, fogging out in front of me. My tongue was so dry it felt like I had a piece of sandpaper lying in my mouth. Everything was kind of fuzzy, like I was looking through a pair of glasses that didn't belong to me. So I should probably stop. Screw the whole, run until the pain died or I did. It was dulled some, a very little, but still. How could I find my Imprint or whatever if I died?

_Stupid,_ I chided myself as I lapped up water from a small pond. _You're not going to Imprint. You're a dead-end. If you weren't Sam—. _My heart beat spastically for a minute. It hurt like hell and I whimpered pathetically. _Okay, no saying the S word._ But as soon as I laid down that law, all I could think about was _him_ and Emily maybe just leaving their wedding reception, going on their honeymoon…

_Oh God!_ I thought, clawing the ground. A sob/choked whine broke out of my mouth. _It hurts too much. It really does! Because he picked her over me! Because he left me, like he didn't have a choice. And he did, damn it! He could've fought, but he didn't! He…just…left…me…for…her._ I hated this moment of weakness, even as I was still in it. I was literally writhing around on the ground. Pathetic. I should've been stronger! I WAS stronger…stronger than this. And yet, here I was, lying on the ground, sniveling in self-pity.

I pushed myself to my feet and took another drink from the pond. Then I was running again, taking long leaps and bounds around, over, and under the trees in the dense forest. Don't get me wrong; I was going to try to stop pitying myself. No one can sympathize for someone who's crying and whimpering for very long. It was kind of hard in this situation.

I decided to head east, to put as much distance between La Push and me without leaving the continent. It wouldn't ease the pain, but, ya know, physical distance could help me emotionally distance myself too. Maybe. Ok, I really doubted it. But whatever.

When I got to some small town in Canada, probably about half way between the east and west coasts, I decided to stop and sleep. Running so hard for so long was really tiring, which was what I had been aiming for. If I could just keep running so that I could pretty much fall asleep when I stopped, I would be good. That's how I looked at it.

I lay down in the cover of the scrub and brush with my head on my paws. Soon I'd have to get something to eat. I didn't feel like roughing it with some raw moose or something. Yuck. Just as I settled down, I noticed a change. Like I wasn't alone anymore. Only the feeling was a gentle awareness in my head.

_You okay, Leah? _Seth's tentative voice came through just as strong as if I was standing next to him. Huh. No static for wolf telepathy then.

_Uh…ask me later. Kay?_

_Yeah…_ he thought. I could feel him pacing. _I'm sorry._

_Nothing for you to be sorry about._

_Well…if I could give it up, and, like, have the wolf-gene skip our family, I would. You know?_

_Really? _I thought, my voice small.

_Yeah, really. It wouldn't do much about…you know, but then you wouldn't have to be the only girl and all._

_Don't worry about it. I'll be fine._

_Kay._ It seemed to me like Seth sounded more…I don't know, not really childlike, but vulnerable and innocent. I knew he was anything but vulnerable, physically. I wondered if, emotionally, he was hurting inside, just like me.

_Hey, I am not vulnerable!_ He thought abruptly. It brought a small smile to my lips.

_Don't worry. Never would've thought it._

_You just did!_

_Oops._ There was a silence as we each listened to what the other was thinking. I'm sure Jake had ordered Seth to make sure I wasn't suicidal or something.

_Look, I'm beat. I'll talk to you later, okay?_

_Yeah._ Pause. _Leah…um, don't think I'm asking this cuz _I _want to know, but Jake made me ask you and—._

_Spit it out, Seth._

_Well…_ His next words came out in a rush._ Jake wanted to know if you needed any…um…clothes or anything cuz he knows you rushed out of there really fast._

_Oh._ Come to think of it, I didn't have any clothes I could wear. You think I would've though of that. Guess not. I didn't even have any money with me.

_Jake said he'd run you some stuff out. If you needed it, that is._

_Tell you what, _I said, not really wanting to see anyone right now. _I might be in this area for a day or so. Tell Jake not to run them out. Tell him…to pack me up, like, three pairs of jeans and maybe ten shirts and get my money that's stored beneath my bed. It's under the mattress; about $2,000 I've saved up. Tell him to use that money to priority ship everything and send the rest along._

_What address?_

_Um, hold on. _I got up and trotted over to the small town and picked the address of the small house closest to the woods. I'd just have to watch it. I rattled the address off for him. _Got it?_

_Yeah…Bye Leah. Talk to you later?_

_Yeah. See ya. Take care of everyone, okay._

_I will._

With that, Seth was gone. I walked back to the forest and lay down again. Sleep came almost immediately. Surprisingly, it was almost nightmare free. Almost. When I woke up again, it was completely dark out. I shook myself awake and went to get a drink from the pond.

I'll spare all the details, but it seemed like forever when my package _finally_ showed up. It was a very, very boring wait. But, you know, I had my oh-so-wonderful pain to deal with also.

I didn't feel like staying in this town for much longer. It was too tiny, too bland, too boring. I almost wished I would cross the path of some leeches so I could rip their heads off. It'd be a nice distraction. Before I left, though, I decided to get some food, some _cooked _food at a local bar/restaurant.

After quickly changing, I walked through the front door and sighed. I could smell hamburgers and steak and, oh, french fries. Yum.

I sat at the bar, mostly because the few booths that were there were filled. I sat as far away from everyone else as possible, really only interested in eating and avoiding the probably drunk old trucker dudes.

"What can I getcha?" the bartender asked, polishing a glass mug. Wow. I thought bartenders in movies were the only ones who did that. I grabbed a menu and placed my order.

"I'll have…a hamburger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake. Please," I added, as an afterthought.

"Sure." He left to tell the cook and I sat there, praying that the old guys wouldn't come and get chummy. Instead, a younger man, probably in his mid-to-late twenties came and sat next to me. So there went my hope for quietness.

We were both quiet. I was trying to avoid talking by mainly looking the other way and pretending I didn't know he had sat next to me. I couldn't really blame him. The only other open seat was down right next to the now-very-obnoxious truckers. I was still kinda pissed though. _I'm just getting over heartbreak._ I thought. _Can you leave me alone for, like, a minute?_

"Hi," he said warmly. I mentally sighed. Great. Just great.

I turned and said, "Hey," back. I didn't really smile…I couldn't, at this point. Can you really blame me, though?

The guy glanced down towards the truckers and said, "That's a fun bunch down there, huh?"

"Yeah," I replied as I got my first good look at him. He was light skinned, with short black hair. He had glasses, was dressed in a gray suit. Not my type at all. Nothing against him, but I just really wasn't into the conservative businessman dudes. Ever.

"The name's Bill." He stuck his hand out and I had no choice but to shake it.

"Leah."

_Maybe I'm wrong, _I thought warily. _Maybe he's not going to hit on me. Please, please, don't let him._

"That's a pretty name," he says, looking into my dark eyes with his blue ones. With all that Imprinting business on my mind, I couldn't help but feel a _huge_ wave of relief. At least _he's_ not my Imprint. "You don't hear it very often."

_That is such a lie, _I thought as I said, "Thanks."

He scooted closer; maybe—hopefully—to get away from our trucker friends? "So where are you from? I've never seen you around here before."

"I'm…in from out of town. To see my…sick aunt." Oh, the old sick aunt lie. It always works.

"Oh, who's that?"

"She doesn't live in this town…about an hour away. I just…needed to get something to eat."

"I see." We were quiet for a sec, then he scooted closer. Oh, just _wonderful_ (Note the sarcasm, people. I was _not_ lovin' this). "Did anyone ever tell you that you have such beautiful eyes."

"Yes," I said, looking away as my throat started hurting in that, Oh-crap-I'm-going-to-cry way. Sam had told me the very same thing on our first date…

_I look at my feet, blushing. It's so strange to be sitting here, with this guy I've dreamt of for such a long time. He's so…strong, so capable. Everything about him was beautiful._

"_Leah?"_

"_Yeah?" I say, looking up, even more embarrassed that he caught me daydreaming._

"_Are you ready to go?"_

"_Yeah. Dinner was wonderful," I say as he stands up and pulls my chair out for me. Sam takes my hand and leads me outside to his car. We drive to my house, where he comes around and opens the door for me._

"_You know," he says, smiling, "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They're just…beautiful."_

"_Really?" I ask in amazement._

"_Absolutely," he says, and then his lips are on mine…_

"It's true, you know."

"Yeah."

"So, would you maybe like to join me for a drink or two tonight? It's on me."

I could barely contain my exasperated scream. "I already ordered dinner…"

"Well, that's okay. I'll get a drink and treat you to dinner."

_Please, please, please go away…_I wished frantically. My dinner came then, as did my bill. Bill insisted on paying.

"Thanks," I mumbled, sending a bartender a look that clearly said 'please save me.' It didn't work.

Bill's phone rang suddenly and he jumped. "I'll be a minute," he said, smiling. He turned his back to me and started talking. I think it was his wife, or girlfriend, or something, because it was a high female voice on the other end. Sounded like she was screaming.

I waved the waiter over. "Can you get me a box to go, please?" I said urgently. He just stared.

"You're not going to eat here?"

"No. Just hurry up!" I snapped. He was back in a minute with a large box. I swiped my food into it and, thank goodness, the milkshake was already in a Styrofoam cup. As Bill waved his hand around frantically (which, might I add, had a glinting gold wedding band on his ring finger) I grabbed my food and made my escape through the door that led into the kitchen.

"Hey!" the bartender yelled as I pretty much vaulted the counter. With that, I was through the door and into the clear, black night. I ran into the forest, and ducked behind a small clump of trees. I slid down the tree and set the food on the ground, stifling a laugh. It was things like this that made life fun: the spontaneous and the unplanned.

I ate my food slowly, noticing a cold sensation creeping through my chest…like my heart was stuttering in my chest, not literally, but figuratively. I felt alone all of a sudden, completely alone. I hadn't felt this feeling since…well, since Sam had left me. The feeling wasn't a familiar one; I had repressed it for years. Suddenly, I lost my appetite.

Remembering that Jacob had sent my IPod with my stuff, I put the ear buds into my ears and hit shuffle. Of course, the song My Immortal by Evanescence** (hint hint, good time to listen as you read)** came up. As the song started to play I felt my throat get thick and shivers run across my skin. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

Tears sprang to my eyes and I bit hard on my lower lip, trying so hard to keep from starting to sob. Lightning abruptly lit the blackening sky, splitting in two, like my heart. Thunder echoes across the hills and rain poured down. Shoulders shaking, I pulled in a great shuddering breath and hastily threw everything into my duffel bag and didn't even bother to pull off my clothes as I morphed, my silver fur reflecting the lightning.

A hair-raising howl ripped from my mouth before I grabbed the bag and bolted through the forest, weaving my way through trees and brushes. I couldn't think. I _had_ to run. If I stopped, I didn't think I could deal with the pain. Running solved everything: keep going, wear yourself down, and you would only think about the blood racing through your veins, your heart pounding through each moment of pain, the breath rasping in and out, in and out.

_Run and forget the pain_, I told myself,_ Lose yourself in the movement, just like Jake did when he got over Bella…but this is…Sam,_ I thought, another anguished cry tearing its way out of my throat.

When I wished for oblivion, sleep, amnesia, even death, I felt most alive, full of pain and hatred. Hatred for Emily, who stole him away, away from me forever.

_One paw in front of the other,_ I thought, urging myself forward, away from La Push still. Crazed thoughts swirled through my brain. I could feel a pulling back towards it though, to wait for her when she got back from her honeymoon. _I could kill her then, just one swipe and she'd be dead forever._

_No, _I argued with myself,_ he'd just hate me more. He'd never take me back._

_But he's not going to take me back anyways. So what does it matter if I kill her?_

_She's family and that's called murder._

_I wished she had murdered me rather than feel this pain._

_She has shown me nothing but cruelty all throughout my life:_

_She stole Sam,_

_Married him,_

_Slept with him,_

_Made me her bridesmaid,_

_Stole my happily ever after._

_Threw me aside like the ugly step sister in Cinderella-while she got her fairytale ending, I got to live in misery._

_STOP THE PAIN!_ I screamed insanely. _PLEASE, GOD, MAKE IT _STOP_!_ I hunched over on the ground, whimpering piteously. _Please…please…make it stop…_

Suddenly, there was a slight change in the forest. It was still pouring rain, thundering, lightning-ing, and the wind still echoed my howls…someone was here. The hair stood up on the nape of my neck, then followed suit all over my body. I stood, tail straight out, a ferocious, feral growl reverberating from my chest. I caught whiff of the scent as I looked up and there, standing in front of me were too incredibly pale people…

…but not people…

…_Vampires._

**AN- Yeah, I thought I'd leave you with a bit of a cliffhanger now. I know, I know, how sweet of me ;p BTW I think that many songs from Evanescence go really well with this story; My Immortal, Bring Me to Life, Lithium, just to name a few. They really fit the mood, for now so I'll probably recommend one or two each chapter. As always, tell me what you think! Thanks a million guys, really.**

**-TwilightAngel08**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Distraction**

**Song for this part: Going Under by Evanescence**

I snarled as I lowered down into a crouch. Intense satisfaction filled me as looks of disbelief and fear flickered across the leeches' faces. I barked and the sound echoed across the forest…and yet, they didn't run. The male stepped forward, held his ground, crimson eyes burning.

"How strange," he said, in a slight British accent, "and here, I thought most of the werewolves were gone." He looked up to the sky, as if hoping to see the moon. "Strange," he repeated again, looking at me in a calculating look.

"Michael, let's move on," the woman said, eyeing me warily. She tossed her blond hair and took a step back.

"Just sit this out. It will be quick, I assure you."

I growled angrily and took a step forward.

Michael launched himself at me, moving so fast that he became a white blur. I had almost forgot how fast vampires were, but I could be just as fast. His curled fingers latched onto my leg painfully, but before he could do anything I sank my teeth into his arm, my nose wrinkled because of the smell. He let go quickly, his face spasming in pain. I tossed him sideways like a rag doll, hoping to rip off his arm but only succeeding in smashing him into a tree. The ancient pine groaned and fell backwards with a loud crack.

"Michael!" the woman screamed.

I grinned and prepared for her to launch herself into the fray.

"Stay there, Madeline!" he said, getting up and rolling his shoulders. His face was a mask of pure rage. "This is my fight. There's no way a _dog_ is going to beat me."

_Let's see you try_, I thought, my tail wagging. I jumped at him, but he was quick and moved to the side. He caught me with a punch that sent me flying through the air. I was pretty sure my shoulder blade was fractured. Readjusting my position midair, I was able to absorb the impact of hitting the trees and push myself forward. I feinted left and tricked the poor leech. I guess he didn't think I was smart enough to juke him.

I bit down on his upper arm and, with all my strength, I ripped his shoulder from its socket. He screamed in agony as I leapt back and tossed his limb to the side. Madeline was standing with her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with fright.

Suddenly, Michael was right beside me. I tried to jump back, but he kicked my left front leg and I immediately felt it fracture. A whine escaped my mouth as I tried to evade his next move, which ended up slicing my face and almost dislocated my jaw. I reared back and pinned him down by standing on his chest, but then his legs came up and kicked me in the stomach, catapulting me across the clearing. This time, I wasn't able to land well, and ended up dropping like a garbage bag onto the ground. I was now pretty sure both my shoulders were hurt, and maybe a back paw, even though my cuts were healing up. There was no way I'd be able to outrun the bloodsuckers like this. I tried to lift myself, and ended up falling to the ground. Sure, I could heal fast, but not _this_ fast.

Michael stood over me, grinning smugly. "No match for me, pup."

_No match? _I thought grimly, _I ripped your friggin arm off._

"You know what, though? It was a good try," he said, leaning towards me.

Suddenly, I saw my opening. I surged forward, threw a paw over his body to keep him down, and, as he screamed, I sank my fangs into his neck and jerked my head to the side. It all happened so fast that Madeline hadn't had time to even move when I released his head and it landed by her feet, eyes open and staring.

She must have been a new vampire, because she just stared at his head, mouth agape. It was actually kind of funny.

"You _killed_ him!" she said disbelievingly. She looked up at me, eyes almost bugging out.

_Yep,_ I thought, grinning again. Then I growled and took a step forward. Madeline didn't know what to do. She looked like she wanted to fight, but in the end, terror won out and she bolted. Um, not going to happen. I chased after her and she was much easier to catch than Michael. I just pounced on her and then proceeded to dismember her. Typical stuff, that.

When I dragged her pieces back to where I had killed Michael, lightning struck and _boom_ there was a fire all of a sudden. I hastened to throw their pieces into the fire and then grabbed my bag and was out of there. There's nothing like ripping up a few bloodsuckers to brighten your day.

I ran through the pouring rain, away from La Push and Forks, away from my troubles. Although, as they say, running away from your problems doesn't solve anything. And it didn't. I felt like howling until I lost my voice.

_Leah?_

Oh, just _wonderful_.

_What now, Jake?_

_Just checking up on you._

_Okaaay…and?_

_Are you okay?_

_Stupid question._

He was silent for a second, then picked up on my still slight limp.

_Are you hurt?_

_Yep._

_Why? And could you please give me more than a one-word answer? Everyone's worried about you._

_Everyone? _I asked, almost hopefully.

_Er…almost everyone._

…_Oh._

_So what happened?_

_Leeches._

_How many? Did you kill them? Are you okay?_

_Two. Yes. Yes._

_So where are you now?_

_I dunno._

_Leah!_ Jake yelled at me, _You are NOT helping me out any! Do you have a specific location that you can tell me?_

_Nope._

_AHHHH!_ He screamed in frustration. It was actually quite funny.

_No, Jake, I don't really know, nor care, where I am. I ran into two bloodsuckers earlier and had to take them out. My shoulders got banged up a bit, but they're healing. I don't know where I'm going. Once again, I really don't care. And no, I am NOT okay in the non-physical sense. Does that answer all your questions?_

_Yeah…I guess._

_Can you leave me alone then?_

_I was actually on my way to Nessie's house._

_Oh._

We were quiet for a while, lost in our own thoughts. The storm raged on around me as I made my way through the hills of the forest. Through Jacob's eyes, I could see that, back at La Push, the sun was actually shining. There was a small breeze that wove through the branches.

_It's nice out today,_ Jake commented.

_I wish._

_Sorry about that._

_Ugh. Did all the crappy weather leave La Push with me?_

_It's been pretty nice here, lately._

_Oh, cuz that makes me feel _so_ much better._

_I…didn't mean it like that._

_I know._

His thoughts switched to Nessie as the Cullens' house came into view. Mixed in among his normal thoughts of her was a feeling of fierce protectiveness. As if he'd do anything to keep her safe. I knew he would. So that must be what it felt like to Imprint. Protectiveness. And belonging. Love.

_I guess I'll talk to you later…you will check in, won't you?_

_Every once in a while, I guess, _I said grudgingly. Although I knew Jake had been pretty far away when he left La Push, I think I was still looking for the distance where _poof_ all the telepathic wolf crap would just stop.

I felt Jake leave then, and I felt more alone than ever. I hate that kind of mood where you only want to be alone, but then when you are you feel so desolate. It not only distances you from everyone close to you, but it keeps you away even when you're ready to come back to them.

(Trouble is a Friend by Lenka fits this part pretty well)

Eventually, I left the storm behind and then Midwest along with it. I decided to head a little southward, ready for the sun on my fur…and maybe, just maybe, I'd do a little soul searching along the way. I was tired of being roughing it in the woods…more than that, I was tired of being alone. I'd stay at some hotel or something, at least for a while. Just to be around people and out of the woods.

I was kind of nervous when I changed and walked along the highway, leading toward Kittyhawk, North Carolina. When was the last time I had been around people? Not since that loser in the bar had tried to pick me up. Ew. Plus, I was kind of…grungy looking. I mean, I hadn't had an _actual_ shower since I left, because rolling around in streams and stuff really didn't count.

It was pretty hot as I walked across this really long bridge thing. I was actually sweating. As it turns out, I didn't have to walk the whole way to the beach because there were a lot of families going to the beach. One of them, a nice middle-aged couple with a little daughter, stopped next to me.

"Would you like a ride?" the woman asked, smiling.

"Um, sure." I got in the back, next to the girl, who smiled at me.

"Where're you headed?" the man asked.

"You can just take me as close to the beach without going out of your way, please."

"Can do," he said.

"I'm Natalie," the girl of about nine said, smiling happily.

"I'm Leah," I replied. Her little green eyes were bright, her blonde hair was pulled into a pony tail.

"Have you ever been to the beach before?"

"Not a warm beach."

"You mean there are beaches that_ aren't _warm?" she exclaimed incredulously, her eyebrows shooting up.

"Yeah. Back where I lived, the beach was almost always cold. The waves were always gray and choppy."

"Where did you live, Leah?" the woman asked curiously.

"Oh, in the northern part of Washington," I said, wrinkling my nose a little.

"I'm sure it was very pretty up there," the father commented.

"It is very…green. But when the sun shined, everything turned a pretty jade color. Too bad there's so many clouds there."

"I'd like to visit there someday. I've heard the smaller towns are very homey," the woman said. "By the way, I'm Winona, and this is Luke. And that, of course, is Natalie."

"I'm Leah. It's nice to meet you," I said, smiling. This human contact stuff was great (notice how I mention this as if I've never met a human before). "It is very welcoming up there…most of the time. I lived in a small town, La Push. It's up by Forks, north of Seattle."

"Oh, I've never heard of it," Luke said curiously.

"It's an Indian reservation for us Quiluetes. It's really cool to have a tight-knit community there." Don't ask me why I'm telling them all of this. Chalk it up to desolation from humans.

"So did you ever, like, go swimming in the water?" Natalie asked.

"Sometimes. It's really cold there, though."

"Oh. So what about surfing? Cuz I'd like to try that when I get older, but Mama says that it can be dangerous. I still want to try it," she told me confidingly.

"I know some kids who went surfing up there. It was pretty awesome, but I don't know if I'd be any good at it."

There was a silence that stretched on for a while. I found that Natalie kept staring at me and smiling. I smiled back. She was an only child, I guessed, so she probably wanted a sister. I know I had, especially after Seth was born. I felt a pang in my heart. Seth…I wonder how he was now. And if he'd solved his girl troubles.

Luke looked back at me in the rearview mirror as traffic started to thin and we passed onto the island from the bridge. "So, Leah, do you have anyplace to stay while you're here?"

This was the question I'd been dreading the most. I didn't want to lie to these people, but if I told them the truth, they'd probably think I was just a homeless person…which, I guess, I was.

"Uh…not really. I was planning on getting a hotel somewhere, for a while, at least." This was half true; I wasn't sure if there were any decently price hotels around here.

Luke looked at Winona and she nodded. "Tell you what, Leah," she said, turning back to look at me. "Would you be interested in looking after Natalie for us? This is kind of a business trip for both of us; we just decided to rent a beach house for the week while we were down here. We wouldn't be able to pay you, but you could stay at the house and eat with us. What do you say?"

I was taken aback. Although these people seemed very nice, I couldn't believe they were going to let a complete stranger watch their daughter and stay in their house with them. They were on a business trip. I had a feeling that these people weren't with their daughter as much as I first thought. But, anyways, I really couldn't afford to put out the money for a hotel room.

"Sure, I'd be happy to watch Natalie for you," I said, smiling.

"Yes!" she shouted, punching the air. "Ooh, it'll be like we're sisters!" She was practically bouncing in her seat.

I smiled. This would be an interesting week.

At around five that night, we pulled into the driveway of a large teal, yes _teal_, beach house. It was three stories tall, with a deck on the roof. I was kind of surprised that such a small family would rent a large house like this. I mean, it was on a pretty grand scale.

"We're the first ones here!" Natalie yelled, excited all over again.

"Who else is coming?" I asked, completely confused.

"Oh, this is where our company holds some of its longer meetings," Luke explained.

"Oh." Um was it weird that they were going to the beach with their daughter for a business meeting, or was it just me?

"Come on!" Natalie said, jumping out of the car like it was on fire.

"I should really help unpack…"

"Oh, go ahead and have fun," Winona said, smiling.

Natalie pulled me from the car and lead me up the stairs, past the front door, and back to the deck that faced the ocean.

"Look! There it is!" she said wonderingly. "Hey, will you take me on a walk? Pretty please?" She tugged me toward the beach.

"Natalie, shouldn't we ask your parents first?"

"Oh. Yeah." She ran off and shouted our intentions to them and came back. "Come on, come on, come on!"

I dropped my duffle bag on a wooden bench and slipped off my shoes. Natalie ran down off the walkway onto the sand.

"Natalie, wait up!"

She stopped and waited for me, amazingly, and then looked up at me. "You can call me Lee-lee," she said. "Everyone does. Cuz, you know, Nata-LEE."

"O…kay…" A pain shot through my chest. That was Sam's nickname for me…it always had been a special pet name…just between us. _Had_, I reminded myself. _No longer. Move on._

"Are you okay? Leah?"

"I'm… fine. Why don't we go feel that water?"

"Okay, let's go!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, to the ocean. We stuck our toes in tentatively.

"Oh! It's warm!" I said, surprised.

"Of course it is, silly! Can we look for seashells?"

"Sure. You know, where I lived, the only seashells we had were all crushed up. Mostly it was just pebbles."

"That's weird. You said you lived on an Indian reservation, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, are you, like, an Indian."

"Not just like one," I said, smiling as I picked up a swirled shell, "I am an Indian." Go Indian pride!

"What kind of Native American are you?"

"Quiluete."

"That's cool." She paused and picked up a pink shell. "Do you think we'll be able to go swimming tomorrow? Maybe we could go to the pier too."

"We'll see. I have to buy a bathing suit first."

"You don't have one?"

"Well, when I left home, I left pretty quickly. I didn't have time to pack up things."

"Is that why you're carrying a duffel bag around and don't have a car?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Uh…yeah, I guess so."

"Are you homeless?"

"Noooyeah."

"Huh?"

"I guess I am. But I'm looking for somewhere else to stay for a while." I kicked a piece of seaweed. "Ouch!" I yelped, pain stinging through my foot. Drops of blood stained the sand red.

"What happened?" Natalie asked, panicked.

"I don't know," I said, looking at the seaweed. As it turns out, there was a jellyfish beneath it.

"Should we turn back?" she asked, eyeing my cut warily.

"I'll be fine. It'll heal in a second," I replied out of habit. Even as I watched, the blood flow slowed and stopped, and the cut turned into a thin pink line.

I guess Natalie was watching, too. And I guess I kind of forgot that normal humans don't heal in, oh, I don't know, thirty seconds. "How did you do that?"

"Um…what?" I said, acting all innocent.

"It just…healed…in, like, a minute! Normal cuts don't do that!"

"I don't know…it just…did that."

"Are you sure you not a fairy, or a witch, or something? With magical powers?"

"I'm sure I'm not a fairy or a witch," I said, smiling. I never said I didn't have 'magical powers,' so it wasn't a lie. Natalie squinted at me suspiciously.

"Okay, whatever. Grown-ups are sooo weird." She started walking again.

"Hey, I'm not _that_ old," I said, running to catch up with her.

We walked for a little longer, and then turned back. By the time we got back to the house, my pockets and Natalie's were full of shells and pebbles. It was strange, because I had just met her, but I felt like I was really bonding with her. Her take on life was funny and like a nine-year-old's version of mine, minus the pain and heartbreak. She even insisted on me giving her a piggyback ride back to the house. As we walked back up the walkway to the house, I could hear more voices, which meant, I assumed, that more corporate stiffs had arrived. I picked up my duffel bag and Natalie led me into the house, where her parents showed us to our rooms. This would surely be a crazy week.

**AN- So, let me know how you like it. I figured we could use a few lighter chapters at least, to break the depression up. I know Natalie gets very attached and trusts Leah pretty quickly, but I think that's how a lot of younger kids are. Her parents were kind of stuck with bringing her along, so that's why they were so quick to grab Leah, especially since they won't have to pay her and all. Oh well. More reviews=more motivation for writing! So give me lots and lots of 'em! ;p**

**-TwilightAngel08**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Mend**

**Song to listen to now: Here we go by Mat Kearney**

"_Sam, please don't leave me," I whispered as he held me close. "Please stay. You don't have to leave!"_

"_Leah, you know I do."_

"_No, you don't! There's nothing that's taking you away from me! You can stay right here, with me, forever."_

"_She's waiting…"_

"_So am I! I love you, can't you tell that! Don't you understand!? Why can't you just stay?"_

"_You're not right for me, Leah." His strong arms held me back. "I'm sorry, Leah…__Leah__…__Leah__…"_

"Leah? Leah? Are you up?" Natalie's small voice woke me up, pulled me out of the fog of my dreams. I felt her shake my arm. "Leah?"

"I'm up, I'm up!" I said, shaking my head. I peered at her through the darkness. "What's up, Natalie?"

She looked at her feet and scuffed her toes on the ground. "I had a nightmare," she said with a sniffle. I stared at her, then smiled gently.

"Me too."

"Really? Adults get nightmares? They get scared?" She sat on the edge of my bed.

"Of course we do. Everyone gets scared sometimes." I ran a hand through my hair. "Even adults." I glanced at my watch, which I had laid on the nightstand. It was seven. "Natalie, it's still pretty early. Why don't you go back to bed so you're rested up for later?"

"I don't want to have another nightmare…" she said, looking up at me. I sighed, then a brilliant idea hit me.

"Tell you what, if you go back to sleep now, I'll let you sleep in my room, _and_ I'll make you something that will keep nightmares away. Deal?"

She beamed. "Deal. But where will you sleep?"

"I'm going to run to the store and buy a swim suit and the stuff I need to make your present, okay?"

"'Kay." She snuggled down in the blankets, blonde curls framing her face. Her eyes were already starting to drop closed.

"I'll see you in a few hours," I told her. I picked up some clothes and then left the room and quietly closed the door. I got changed in the bathroom, threw my pajamas back into my room, then headed for the front door with some money in my pocket.

It was a bit of a long walk to the store, well, at least compared to running in wolf form. I preferred going wolf because it was faster, but seeing as there wasn't much cover to hide a small horse-size wolf, I figured I probably shouldn't. One jog later, I reached the heaven of cheap-but-mostly-good-quality-stuff: Wal-Mart. I knew I had seen one on my way in.

I entered, probably looking a bit disheveled, and quickly made my way to the swim suits. It took me forever to match a top and bottom; I mean, why would someone really pick a red bottom to go with a green, purple, and yellow top? Maybe they were blind? Eccentric? On drugs? I ended up with a basic black two-piece. It was only fifteen bucks, and it even came with a free pair of black flip-flops, which I could use. I headed over to the arts and craft department and picked up some string and then went to check out.

Of course, other than having cheap-but-mostly-good-quality-stuff, Wal-Mart is also notorious for having humongous lines. I waited, kind of impatient. It was going on eight, and I still didn't have breakfast (Okay, so it's not like it was late or anything, but still, I'm a…well, not-growing wolf girl, so don't blame me. I have a fast metabolism). While I was waiting, some guy got in line behind me.

"Can you believe these lines?" he asked with a sigh.

"I know," I said, turning to him, "They're torturous." I won't lie; he was kinda…okay pretty hot…not on the Sam scale, but still, pretty good looking. I know, it wasn't really fair for me to judge anyone by a Sam Scale…but, remember, I was still trying to get over him. At least this guy didn't look like he'd even clear a two on the Backstabbing side of the Sam Scale.

He smiled. "I'm Darren."

"Leah," I said, smiling. He had tanned skin, which, I guess, would be a by-product of being by the beach. Unless he tanned. Which guys should pretty much _never_ do. He had short, spiked dark hair that was highlighted by the sun.

"I haven't seen you around here before. Are you vacationing here?"

"Yeah, for a week."

"Only a week?"

"Yeah. Is that strange here?"

"Not really. Just hoping a pretty girl like you would stay in town a little longer," he smiled and I couldn't help but blush.

_Stupid,_ I chided myself. _Don't get into this now._

_But why?_ A little voice whispered in my head. _Sam's not going to take you back. And you need to move on._

_I'm leaving in a week,_ I protested.

_Maybe you'll find a reason to stay._

"I'm sure there are a lot of pretty girls who come through here," I said, brushing off his flattery. "I'm sure they will all gladly throw themselves at you."

"I like a challenge," he said, suggestively. "I don't give up easily." Another blindingly bright smile.

"Okay, so how do you know I'm not taken?" I said, quirking my mouth to one side. _Oh my God…am I really _flirting_!_

Darren gave me a quick look over. "Well, you're not wearing an engagement ring. And you're not dressed up like you're to impress someone—and,"

Ooh, that first one stung. "Dude, it's _Wal-Mart_!" I said, rolling my eyes. "Look around; everyone here is in sweatpants!"

"No offense," he said, showing me the palms of his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"None taken," I said, "But I'm just saying. Plus, it's not even nine yet. You're lucky I even got out of my pajamas."

"I understand," he said, gesturing to himself. He was in a worn pair of flannel pants and a black t-shirt. "I happen to be one of the pajama people who inhabits this place."

I smiled and turned to put my stuff on the checkout counter. The line seemed like it had moved fast. "Speaking of pajamas, what is a boy doing here before noon? I thought all guys like to sleep in."

"I want to get out there and on my board today. I heard there are going to be some good waves. So where are you staying?" Darren asked, bumping me over and setting his stuff on the counter. I shied away from the touch of his shoulder against mine.

"I don't even know the address. It's some big teal house, though."

"Are you kidding me? You're staying at that monster? You gotta be paying a fortune!"

"No, actually," I admitted, smiling. "It's a long story." I paid the cashier for my things and then picked up my bag.

"Why don't you tell it to me as I walk you outside?" he suggested, grinning.

"Who said I was going to let you walk me outside?" I asked playfully.

"I did," he said, paying for his things.

We walked out to the parking lot side by side. "Well, actually, I was walking in and I got picked up by this nice family. And they needed a babysitter for their daughter. So I agreed, because they were going to let me stay for free."

"They needed a babysitter on vacation?" he asked skeptically.

"I guess they're actually on a business trip. There're a bunch of corporate stiffs staying there."

"Ooh, sounds like fun," he said sarcastically.

"If only."

"So, um, where's your car?"

"Oh, I don't have one. I jogged here."

"That takes forever. Do you want a ride?"

"I can just walk back."

"Actually, you can't, because then I'll worry about you the whole day, not know if you've got home safely or not…_so_, I think I'm pretty much obligated to take you home."

"No, it's really okay," I said, shaking my head, "it'll just be out of your way."

"Not really. It's only down the street from my place."

"Are you sure it's no trouble?"

"Yes, I'm sure." He nodded toward a beat up red pickup truck. "Come on." Darren jumped into the driver's seat after throwing his stuff into the bed of the truck. I opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. I tried to keep my smile to a low beam, but, hey, maybe luck was finally coming my way.

"So you walked here?" Darren asked as they engine started with a groan.

"Um, yeah, kinda."

"From _where_?"

"Uh…Washington."

"You mean Washington D.C., right?"

"No," I laughed, "Try the state."

"How the heck does that happen?"

"Well…I'm a fast runner. Some say I'm as fast as a wolf."

"I'd like to see that sometime," he scoffed.

"Oh, is that a challenge?"

"You bet."

"You're so on," I said, smiling. "Just name the place and the time."

"Details, details," he said, waving his hand. "We'll figure it out soon."

"Yeah, sure."

"So, why'd you leave Washington?"

"It's…complicated," I said, looking at my feet. I could feel a flush creeping up my face.

"Usually, when I hear those words from a girl, it either means there was a family problem, or boy trouble," he commented.

"Yeah…"

"Would that be a yeah to the first, or a yeah to the second?"

"Um…I guess both…"

"Mmm." I could feel his curiosity and when I looked up, his dark eyes met mine. "I won't pry, he said, smiling a little."

"Thanks." Silence reigned for a few minutes.

"So this girl you're babysitting, her parents never met you before?"

"Yep," I said, laughing.

"And they just decided to give you a ride and hire you to watch her?" he asked skeptically.

"Yep."

"And you accepted?"

"Mmhm."

"I don't know _what_ parents these days are thinking, picking up a shady character like you," he said, "And then trusting you." I could see the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried to keep a straight face.

"Oh, you mean like you're doing now?"

"Oh, no, this is completely different," he said, scrambling for a good retort. "Flirting is a little more lenient when dealing with strangers. _Hiring_ them, however, for childcare, is something else entirely. I mean, look at you. I'm sure you're an evil kidnapper trying to pass as a teenager—."

"Teenager!" I exclaimed, baffled, "I'm twenty-one! And I look, like twenty-five!"

"Ok, no offense meant," he said quickly. "I'm twenty-two and people _still_ take me for a teenager."

"Because look at you! You're like, a high-schooler…maybe." I grinned, knowing that this would get him riled up. I don't know, but most guys _hate_ it when you say they look way younger than they are. I guess they take it as an insult to their…manliness.

"No way do I look like a highschooler!"

"You're right. You look more…middle-schooler-ish," I said, smiling wider.

"I give you a ride home and _this_ is the thanks I get? A girl grilling me to no end?"

"Yes," I said, then added, "And you're welcome."

Just then, we pulled up in front of the teal house. Surprisingly, a feeling of immense disappointment filled me. I…I actually wished the ride would last longer. _Probably just because I wanted more contact with guys…I was so used to hanging with the pack and not too many girls_, I rationalized. _That's all_. _It's not like he's my…boyfriend or anything._ Again, I could feel my reluctance to let go of Sam. I couldn't, didn't want to, in one sense. And yet, I knew I had to.

"Thanks again," I said, smiling up at Darren. I wasn't exactly short, but he was still taller than me, probably by half a head.

"No problem. Are you sure it's safe with all those…business men," he mock-shuddered, "in there?"

"I think I can handle myself," I said, smiling.

"Are you so sure about that?"

"Dude, they're _businessmen_, and I'm…well, me. I'll be fine."

"Sure you will," he said skeptically and smiled.

I opened the door and stepped out of his truck, my bag looped around my wrist. I scuffed my shoe against the sandy road for a second. A small uncomfortable-bordering-on-awkward silence settled.

"Will I see you again?" I suddenly blurted out, to my complete and utter horror/surprise/embarrassment.

Darren smiled and it was a crooked smile that pulled one side of his mouth just a teensy bit higher than the other. His eyes, brilliant blue, I just noticed, seemed to sparkle. Maybe I was just imagining it. "You can count on it. Just make sure those business stiffs don't eat you alive. I'd hate to see you go in normal and come out wearing a starchy suit."

"Not gonna happen," I said, backing up and closing the door. He rolled the window down.

"I'll see you later, then?"

"Guess so."

He smiled brightly and drove off, leaving me with an unfamiliar dazed feeling and a slightly sped-up heartbeat. _Really?_ Was I going insane?

I shook my head vigorously and headed up the front wooden deck stairs, trying to shake the feelings that I hadn't felt for so long…not since Sam had looked at me before Emily had come along. Before his eyes were full of pity. When I opened the front door, I saw Natalie peer over the upstairs balcony.

"Leah! You're back!" She raced down the stairs and threw her arms around me to my surprise and…well, shock.

"Yeah…"

"Thanks for letting me sleep in your room," she said, smiling. "I didn't have any more bad dreams."

"It's fine." I looked around. No one seemed to be up yet, even though it was already 9:30. "Did you eat yet?"

"Nope."

"Would you like eggs or cereal or—."

"Ooh! Could I have eggs please? Scrambled? With salt and pepper?"

I smiled. "Of course. You wanna help?"

"Could I really?" She beamed. "Mama doesn't usually let me help her in the kitchen."

"Come on," I said, walking toward the giant kitchen. It really was giant, no exaggeration. It had a long bar that could probably seat ten or twelve people, two double sinks with garbage disposal, a dishwasher, and what seemed like miles of countertop compared to what my house had. The fridge was probably almost double a normal fridge size. After rooting around in drawers and cupboards, I came up with a pan, spatula, and bowls and plates. Natalie got out the eggs, bread, butter, and bacon.

"Okay, so first we set the burner to medium, and we put butter in the pan, so the egg won't stick."

"Got it," she said, her little face solemn in concentration.

"Do you want to crack the eggs?"

"I'm not sure how to…" she trailed off.

"Here, look," I said, taking an egg. "You hold it like this, then you hit it off the edge of the bowl like this. You can't do it too hard or else it'll splatter everywhere. Here." I handed her an egg. "You try."

She cracked it on the bowl, but not hard enough to really split it. I took her hand in mine. "Try a little harder." Together, we cracked it and put it in the bowl. We each cracked another one. I figured four eggs was good, considering I would eat at least two, and she'd probably eat one and then some.

"Now what?" she asked, smiling.

"Now I beat the eggs with a fork," I told her, demonstrating. "I'd let you do this too, but this part is kinda tricky. And when they're all scrambled like this, we pour it into the pan where we spread all the butter. See how it's all sizzly?"

"Yeah."

"That's just about the right time to put the eggs in. Then we put salt and pepper on."

"Cool," she said, so happy that she was practically bouncing up and down. I told her to put bread in the toaster and then I put the bacon in the microwave (it was the microwave-able stuff). I poured us both orange juice and doled out some servings.

"There," I said triumphantly as I set our food on the table.

"Awesome!" Natalie said, smiling. She shoveled some eggs into her mouth and pawed through my bag. "You bought a black bathing suit…and some string?"

"Mmhm," I said, biting into a piece of toast. "It's to make your gift."

"Which would be…?" she asked through a mouthful of food.

"You'll see in a bit, okay?"

"Okay." She paused, and then looked at me. "And Leah?"

"What's up?" I asked, disconcerted by the change in her tone.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Le-Le." She smiled suddenly, her pretty green eyes sparkling. "You know," she said confidentially, "These are better than my mom's."

"Is that so?" I said, returning her grin.

"Yeah."

We continued eating. I wondered what I was getting myself into. I had…flirted, I guess, with Darren; I'd grudgingly admit that. But I don't know if I was ready to move on. I knew I should, but could I? Could I really get over Sam? I had been trying for what felt like forever. Natalie was proving to be the little sister I had always wanted and had given up on getting when Seth came along. I didn't know what to make of her parents; they seemed nice, but I think there was more distance between them and Natalie than they'd like to admit. And she was such a sweet girl. And Darren was…well, attractive.

All I knew was I couldn't make heads or tails of my emotions and my heart felt like it was on a roller coaster ride complete with inverted loops and 90-degree drops.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Fun in the Sun?**

After Natalie and I finished our breakfasts, she decided that she wanted to go to the beach. Before I could even reply, she shouted that she was running upstairs to get her bathing suit on, and that she'd be right back down. I walked into my bedroom and changed, kind of excited, actually. This was the first time I'd been in a bathing suit for years. I had never worn one on First Beach, considering it was always too cold for that.

"Leah?" Natalie knocked on the door.

"What's up?"

"Do you need a beach towel? I have an extra."

"Yeah, could you bring me one down? I forgot to pick one up," I said, dearly hoping that she wouldn't give me a Barbie towel. I stepped out of the room and walked downstairs to see Natalie meticulously organizing a beach bag. I smiled, but that fell off my face real quick when one of the businessmen caught sight of me. He eyed me shrewdly, which prompted me to immediately pick up one of Natalie's towels and wrap it around myself.

"Um…I'm Leah," I said, taking advantage of the most awkward silence ever.

"Who?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My babysitter, Jeff," Natalie replied without looking up at him. The way she said it was funny, as if she were an adult talking to another adult. He winced and sighed exasperatedly.

"Natalie, couldn't you call me Mr. Williams, like I asked?"

"Sorry, Jeff. No can do." She continued packing her things into her blue beach bag. Jeff walked away, muttering something about this being a "business trip, not a place for toddlers."

"I'm almost nine and a half, Jeff," she called after him, rolling her eyes at me. I smiled and gave her a thumbs up. Soon, we were walking—well, Natalie was kind of hopping—down to the beach. At the end of the walkway, where there was a small deck with benches, Natalie pulled out a bottle of sunscreen.

"Leah, could you help me with this? I already got my legs and arms and stuff, I just need my back done."

"Sure," I said as I squirted some onto my palm. "Do you mind if I use some?"

"Nope." A few minutes later, when we were protected from the UV's, we stepped onto the sand.

It really was shaping up to be a beautiful day. The sky was blue, completely cloudless, which was such a nice difference from La Push. The sand was already hot and the greenish waves were perfect, not too small or too big. I smiled. No more gray waves, thank goodness. Seagulls wheeled and whined in the sky, coasting on warm air currents. I was pretty sure I made the right decision in moving to warmer territory.

Natalie spread her towel on the sand next to where I was spreading mine. She pulled out a small portable radio and put it on some station that played a good mix of everything, and then she sat on her towel and looked out at the water.

"Look at them going to surf," she said longingly. I looked out to see probably five to eight surfers spaced out across the horizon.

"One day, I bet you'll be out there too."

"You think so?" she asked, getting a faraway look in her eyes.

"I really do." She smiled and I laid back on the towel, letting the sun warm my body until I felt like I was sitting in an oven. Even though there was a breeze, lower to the ground it couldn't be felt as much. I flipped over onto my stomach. This was the best I'd felt in days.

"Hey, Leah, do you think we could go out in the water now?" Natalie asked some time later.

"Sure," I said, getting up and stretching. "I could definitely cool off."

"Sweet!" she whooped, taking off for the water. I laughed as she threw herself in without a second's hesitation. She surface for air. "Come on, Leah! It feels _so_ good!"

"Coming!" I shout, and then I run and, when the water gets deep enough, I dive in. The water feels so refreshing, so cool, that it's pure bliss. I come up and take a breath, smiling. "I've never swam in an ocean this warm," I say.

"I actually thought it was a little cold, but that's just me," Nat says, grinning. We stay where we can touch the sand, although it kinda grosses me out if I think about what's down there. So I keep it out of my head. Outta sight, outta mind. I help Natalie over the swells that make it hard or impossible for her to touch.

"Look!" she exclaims, pointing out at the surfers. "One of them is catching a wave!"

It's true, and when I look up, I see some guy standing on his board in an easy, relaxed stance, gently weaving back and forth. There's something familiar to me about him, but I shrug it off, adding it up to years of watching the guys from Forks and La Push surfing. Although, they were hardly good, most of them.

"You'll be better when you're older," I say, ruffling her wet, blonde hair.

"Yep."

We hung out in the water for a while, laughing and splashing each other. It was probably an hour later when one of the surfers coasted in so close to me that I could feel the air ruffle my hair. Ok, I thought it was pretty rude of them, considering there's a _huge_ ocean all around us, and they just decide to practically run me over.

"Hey—hi," I said, switching gears as I saw who it just was on the surfboard.

"Long time no see," Darren said, shaking his spiky brown hair out and, might I add, splattering me with water. I think he knew this, too, judging by the look on his face.

"Yeah," I said, smiling. Suddenly Natalie jumped up on my back.

"Hi!" she yelled, latching onto me like a monkey. "I'm Natalie!"

"Hey there," Darren laughed as he kept balance on his surfboard. "You never mentioned you had a kid."

I blushed, don't ask me why. "No, no, this is Natalie. The little girl I'm _babysitting_."

"Oh, yeah, you did say that."

"How do you know Leah?" Natalie asked, jumping off of my back and moving to put a hand on Darren's board.

"Met her this morning," he said, almost proudly.

"Oh. Cuz I thought you were her boyfriend or something," she said, cocking her head to the side. I blushed again. Jeez, I usually don't blush so easily.

"We're heading that way," Darren said confidently.

"I'm going to be leaving in a week," I pointed out.

"Ever heard of renting a hotel room? Or even living on the beach?" he asked, rocking back and forth on his board. "It's not that bad, city girl."

"I am _not_ a city girl!" I protested. He only laughed. "It's true! I live in the middle of nowhere, practically!"

"Sure, sure," he laughed, waving away my words. His patronization reminded me of Jacob, since that was a phrase that he so often used, and I felt a small pang of…was I actually _missing_ Jake? Ugh, I had really become a softie.

"I have roughed it more in one summer than you ever have in your life!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry, but you don't look like the type to rough it in the woods."

"You have no idea."

We fell silent for a few seconds and he chuckled. Okay, you know what? That did it. I grabbed the edge of his board and pulled up so that Darren was sent over the edge into the water, head first. I snickered and Natalie looked at me, perplexed.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Cuz I like him," I blurted out. I paused, bewildered, then added, "like, um, doing that to him when he annoys me." It was too late though. Natalie grinned. All I could think was, _Thank goodness he's still underwater._

Darren popped out of the water then. "What was that for?" he asked, shaking the water from his hair.

"For annoying me."

He smiled and moved closer. "Then I guess I'd be justified to do this, since you just dunked me."

"Do what?" I asked just as he pressed his lips to mine. I froze, completely taken aback. Then his hands came down on my shoulders and pushed me beneath the water before I could react.

In retrospect, I guess it wasn't the best idea to inhale some water. But I was so surprised. I came up spluttering, trying to breathe. Darren gently hit my back.

"Easy," he said, rubbing my back. It felt better than I'd care to admit. "You're not supposed to drink the water, Wolfgirl."

"I know that," I managed to cough out, my eyes streaming. "You made me!" I didn't help that I was trying to breath, expel the salt water I inhaled, laugh, and figure out what the hell had just happened and how I felt about it.

"No, correction: I made you go underwater, not drink it."

"That is such bull," I coughed. I moved backwards and tried to straighten up, but ended up tripping over something splashed back into the water. I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me up.

"M'am, are you okay?" Darren asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, completely confused.

"As a certified lifeguard, I am required to help any person on the beach who's in trouble. And you look like you're in trouble."

"I am not!"

He grinned. "I beg to differ." With that, he picked me up like I weighed no more than a few pounds and slung me over my shoulder.

"Darren!" I yelled, trying to get down. "Put me down."

"Sorry, I can't," he said, slinging an arm around his surfboard. I saw that Natalie was also hanging on, beaming, as he waded back to shore.

"Hey! Come on!"

"Just hang tight," he said, smiling. I crossed my arms and mock-sulked. When we got back to shore, he set me on my feet.

"I _can_ swim, you know," I sniffed, tossing my wet hair.

"And I can carry people. We're both full of special talents, huh?"

Natalie giggled. "You two are funny. I think you should really go out."

"Um, and who asked you?" I said, tickling her. "That's not going to happen."

"Just saying," she laughed.

"Don't worry, Natalie. She'll see the light soon enough."

"Says you," I said, walking up the beach and toweling myself dry. Darren apparently followed me up, which I found out when he slapped his surfboard down next to me.

"So how about that race, Wolfgirl?"

"You're so on," I said, shaking my hair out behind me. "Where's the starting line?"

"Right here," Darren said, drawing a line in the sand farther down on the beach. I smiled, mainly because I'm very good at running on the beach, even though it's harder than on firm ground. Put it down to lots of practice.

We lined up behind the starting place and Natalie followed us down, holding her towel. "I'm the referee," she declared, putting her hands on her hips. "The race will be to that blue beach umbrella down there," here she pointed to a sky blue umbrella about fifty yards down the beach, "and back. I'll announce the winner."

Darren and I crouched in a starter's position and I said, "Don't hold back," as I stared straight ahead.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, his face taking on a look of concentration.

"On your mark…," Natalie started.

"Of course. I just don't want you saying you let me win when I beat your sorry butt."

"Get set…"

"I think you should be worrying about yourself, seeing as you're going to be eating my sand soon," he retorted, smirking.

"GO!" Natalie yelled, waving her beach towel like a flag.

I pushed off and sprinted like I had never run before. It felt good to let my muscles go at full force as I only concentrated on the movement of my legs and my arms. The scenery became a blur as I ran, all the way to the umbrella. When I turned around, I saw that Darren was right next to me, keeping pace. I had to hand it to him, he was doing good, especially for racing a crazy wolf girl

I pushed myself faster, hoping that I wouldn't trip over my own feet. I didn't and I crossed the line just ahead of Darren. I slowly came to a stop and heard Natalie yell, "Leah wins!"

I smiled and turned to Darren. "Told you I'd win!"

"I have to say, you are fast, Wolfgirl."

"Told you so."

"Leah, you're _so _fast! How'd you do that?" Natalie asked, awed.

"Lots of practice," I replied, smiling.

"Since you won, I think I have to treat you for ice cream tonight," Darren said, smiling.

"When did we mention that?" I asked, a little uncomfortable. Sam's face popped up in my head.

"We didn't. But I'm proposing it now." He grinned.

"I can't." I looked down at Natalie. "I don't think her parents would want me skipping out on the second night. Sorry," I said. But I wasn't. Only relieved and oh-so-thankful I had an excuse. I know what you're thinking…_Leah's an idiot._

"Okay," he said, and I felt my relief give way to disappointment. Maybe I really thought he was going to chase after me, like he had been all day. "Maybe tomorrow, then?"

I felt my spirits lift a little. "That sounds good."

"Leah," Natalie said, tugging on my arm, "I'm hungry."

"Are you ready for lunch?"

"Yep."

"See you later?" I asked, hoping he'd say yes.

"Definitely."

Around two, Natalie and I returned to the beach after eating some awesome grilled cheese sandwiches. When I scanned the beach and didn't see Darren anywhere, I sighed. Natalie only laughed.

"What?"

"Don't worry," she said. "He'll be here."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, blushing.

"You mean _who_ am I talking about and I mean Darren," she said, "Obviously. You like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, but—."

"No buts! Why shouldn't you?"

"It's complicated."

"Of course it is," she sighed dismissively. "Isn't it always?"

I ignored her and lay down on my stomach propped up on my elbows. As Natalie settled down next to me, I looked out at the ocean and my heart gave a leap in my chest. Darren was out there surfing, weaving gracefully and powerfully through the waves. Natalie giggle and I caught her watching me.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Nothing, nothing at all," she said, smiling.

I sighed and turned my attention back to the waves, and more importantly, the boy who completely owned them.

**AN- So here's another chapter, after a bit of a wait. Eh, I guess I don't have an excuse since school's been canceled so much in the North East lately, but hey, I've been out in the snow a few times. It's craaazy! The first day it came, I stepped out in the snow to take my tiny shih-tzu dog to the bathroom, and it came up past my knees! Needless to say, it looks like everything's shrunk quite a bit! Leave a review, please, if it wouldn't be too much trouble! It will help me write faster ;)**


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